SA Leadership Podcast Episode #152

Toughest Person To Lead


If we are honest with ourselves, we will admit that the toughest person to lead is ourselves. Many times it is not our competition that concerns us, we disqualify ourselves. We are our own worst enemies! Consider these two truths about judging yourself.

We Don’t See Ourselves As We See Others – The first person that we need to examine is ourselves. If we do not take a realistic look at ourselves, we will never see our own personal difficulties. If you do not see them, then how can you lead effectively.

We Are Harder on Others Than We Are on Ourselves – Most people use two different sets of criteria for judging themselves versus others. We tend to judge others according to their actions – it is cut and dry! However, we tend to judge ourselves by our intentions. Even if we do the wrong thing, if we believe our motives were good, we let ourselves off the hook. We repeatedly do this before we hit a crisis moment that requires change.

To be successful in any endeavor, we need to learn how to get out of our own way. There some key steps of action in knowing how to do that. Here are four action steps.

Learn Followership

Bishop Fulton Sheen stated once; “Civilization is always in danger when those who have never learned to obey are given the right to command.” Good leadership becomes possible when you take the time to walk in other people’s shoes. You learn what it is like to be under authority and in turn have a better understanding of how authority should be used. In turn leaders who have never followed well tend to be prideful, unrealistic, rigid, and autocratic.

Develop Self-Discipline

We are all Kings and Queens over a significant Kingdom – Ourselves! To make consistently good decisions, to take the right actions when needed, and refrain from making the wrong action requires character and self-discipline. Essayist John Foster writes, “A man without decision of character can never be said to belong to himself. He belongs to whatever can make a captive of him.” When we are foolish we want to conquer the world. When we become wise, we want to conquer ourselves.

Practice Patience

The great leaders that I know tend to be impatient. They look ahead, think ahead, and want to move ahead. That can be good. Being a step ahead is what makes you a leader. However, it can be bad. If you are fifty steps ahead that may make you a martyr. Few things in life come quickly. There is no such thing as instant greatness or instant maturity. Leadership takes time, the end product is worth the investment.

Seek Accountability

People who lead themselves well know a secret: they can’t trust themselves. Good leaders know that power can be seductive and they understand their own fallibility. To deny this truth is to put yourself in danger. There is an old Chinese proverb that states; “When you see a good man, think of emulating him; when you see a bad man, examine your heart.” Accountability is not answering and accounting for your actions. It starts much sooner. It starts with getting advice from others. The willingness to seek and accept advice is a great indicator of accountability. If you seek early, you will be less likely to get off track in your leadership.

In Closing: Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others, as what he does from day to day to lead himself – Thomas J. Watson


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7 Questions That Will Change Your Life in 2018

What Are Your Answers?

1. What are your five most important values in life? 

2. What are your three most important goals in life, right now?

3. What would you do, how would you spend your time, if you learned that today you had only six months to live?

4. What would you do if you became a millionnaire tomorrow?

5. What have you always wanted to do, but been afraid to attempt?

6. What do you most enjoy doing? What gives you your greatest feeling of self-esteem and personal satisfaction?

7. What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail?

We are approaching another year filled with maximum potential. How would you answer these questions and what difference would they make on your behavior in 2018?

SA Leadership Podcast Episode #151

Lonely At The Top


In my early years of leadership I recall being told not to get to close to people – leaders must maintain distance from your position and those who follow. I remember a discussion with an Assistant Fire Chief in a large college town being instructed to never allow yourself to get close to the other firemen. They will take advantage of you and they will loose respect for you. Loneliness is not a leadership issue. It is however, a personality issue.

Leadership is not being alone at the top of a mountain, looking down on your subjects. If leadership is that lonely at the top, it simply means that you did not invite anyone to go on the journey with you. What kind of leader would leave everyone behind and go it alone? Answer: A selfish leader! Lifting people to new levels is a requirement for effective leading.

It is hard to be effective by separating yourself form the very people you need to be around you. You are not able to feel the hurts, needs, dreams and heartaches of those you are leading. If things are not getting better for people as a result of your leadership, they may need a new leader!

People do not quit companies – they quit people!

Truths About The Top

No one ever gets to the top alone

Few leaders are successful unless a lot of people want them to be. No leader is ever successful without a few people helping them to the top. Leadership is not a game of “King Of The Mountain”, while attempting to keep others away.

Making it to the top is essential to taking others to the top

There are a lot of people in the world that are willing to give advise on things they have never experienced. They are like bad travel agents offering destinations to places they have never visited. A leaders credibility begins with personal success. It ends with helping others achieve personal success. Consider this:

Initiative: You have to get up to go up

Sacrifice: You have to give up to go up

Maturity: You have to grow up to go up

Taking people to the top is more fulfilling that arriving alone

Jim Whittaker, the first America to climb Mount Everest was asked; “What has given you the most fulfillment as a mountain climber? His answer is amazing; I have helped more people get to the top of Mount Everest than any other person. Taking people to the top who could never get there without my assistance is my greatest accomplishment.” A boss says, “GO.” A leader says, “LET’S GO!”

Much of the time leaders are not at the top

Leaders rarely remain stationary. Jules Ormont said, “A great leader never sets himself above his followers except in carrying responsibilities.” Good leaders who remain connected with their people stoop – that is the only way to reach down and pull others up. If you truly want to be a great leader never allow pettiness, jealousy, and insecurity keep you from reaching out to others

Advise To Lonely Leaders

Avoid Positional Thinking – Leadership is relational as mush as it is positional. An individual who takes a relational approach to leadership will never be lonely. Positional leaders are often lonely. Every time they use their title and permission to persuade their people, they put distance between themselves and others. Essentially what is unspoken is “I am up here, you are down there – do what I say!” This makes people feel small and does nothing but drive wedges.

Realize The Downsides of Success and Failure – Anytime you think of yourself as a success you start to separate yourself from others you view as less successful. If you see yourself as a failure, you tend to avoid others because you do not want them to see your failures. The end result is the same – Separation!

Understand That You Are In The People Business

The best leaders know that leading people requires that you love people! I have never met a successful leader who did not genuinely care for people. Bad leaders say, I love mankind! Good leaders know that people do not care about your knowledge until they know you care for them. Be careful – if you become indifferent to people, you move closer to manipulation of people!

Buy Into The Law of Significance

The Law of Significance says that “One is too small a number to achieve greatness.” No accomplishment of lasting value was ever made by one person working alone. Honestly, if on your own you can accomplish the vision for your life and work, then you are aiming too low!


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Got Excusits?

Is This Gland Inflamed?

Marcus Aurelius was reflecting over 2,000 years ago and stated: “Because a thing is difficult for you, do not therefore suppose it beyond mortal power. On the contrary, if anything is possible and proper for a man to do, assume that it must fall within your own capacity.” The Apostle Paul would add to this discussion by stating, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

Is there anyone, anywhere with my problem or limitation who has succeeded in spite of it? If the answer is YES, then your excuses are invalid! When one person overcomes their circumstances, others can overcome as well. Our problem at times is that our “EXCUSITIS GLAND gets inflamed and causes all sorts of problems for us. What? You have never heard about this gland? Let me look it up in my medical dictionary, yes, her it is…….. Excusitis is an inflammation of your excuse-making gland. WARNING: Fatal to success!

That should put a smile on your face! I did say that it was my medical dictionary! Remember, if it has been done, you can get it done! Stop making excuses as you prepare to enter 2018.

SA Leadership Podcast Episode #150

P.L.A.N. A.H.E.A.D.


This podcast will focus of the title “Plan Ahead” by developing an acronym that will give us insight and action steps on making the upcoming year our best ever.

Pre-determine your objectives.

The Law of Design: to maximize growth, develop strategies and think on the front end.

Ask: What do I want to accomplish? Make it simple.

Glance back to plan forward. Consider where you’ve been and what you know. Then, plan forward.

“Thinking on the front end is essential to success.”

Thinking on the front-end, you’re preparing. Thinking on the back-end, you’re repairing.

Lay out your goals.

The Law of Awareness: you must know yourself to grow yourself.

You can’t lay out goals if you don’t know who you are. Define reality.

The facts of “goal-awareness”: We can’t arrive at a place we haven’t decided to travel to.

As humans, we are easily diverted.

Our goals are stepping stones to our objectives. Objective is the big picture.

When we see our goals as stepping stones we’re more likely to reach them.

4 Facts on Goal Awareness

You cannot arrive where you have not decided to travel too

As humans we are easily diverted

Our goals are stepping stones to our objective

When we see our goals as stepping stones we are more likely to keep moving   instead of stopping

Adjust your priorities.

The steps you need to take are going to be in conflict with the habits you have to get there. There is a tension between what you desire and the habits you have presently and will keep you from the primary objective

Ask: Are all my priorities in line with the steps I’m going to take to reach my objectives?

“Priorities not adjusted overtime become wrong priorities.”

The Law of Trade-offs: you have to give up to go up.

Look at what you have, what you want, and what you’re willing to give up to get it.

Example: Create a table and put in the pluses and minuses of a decision.

Don’t make a decision based on the number of pluses or minuses. ASK: Where is my passion? Your passion will skew the weight of your decision.

Notify key personnel.

The Law of Modeling: it’s hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow.

Bring people around you and set expectations on the front end, then model behavior on the back end.

Who do I need to notify when I’m going through a big project or change? Family, team, friends.

Personalize it. Let them know how it will impact them.

Equip them. Give them the information and tools they need to succeed.

Bring accountability into the situation to ensure we get it done.

“There always has to be accountability with empowerment.”

Allow time for acceptance.

The Law of Reflection: learning to pause allows growth to catch up with you.

Big changes must be given time. Big changes must value the past.

Let people ask questions, be heard, hear and process.

Head into action.

The Law of Intentionality: growth doesn’t just happen.

Don’t wait for fear to subside or problems to disappear. Take action.

Momentum is your best friend. Seize the moment.

Fight fear with action.

We never eliminate negative emotion, but we can feed positive emotion.

Feed your faith and starve your doubts.”

Momentum Breakers vs. Momentum Makers past focused vs. future focused

critical view vs. constructive view, traditional thinking vs. creative thinking,

indecision vs. action

Expect problems.

The Law of Pain: good management of bad experiences leads to great growth.

Every day we will experience pain and disappointment.

Motion causes friction.

Fact of Life vs. Problem: A fact of life is something I can’t change.

A problem can be fixed or worked on.

If you can’t change a fact of life, change your attitude about the fact of life.

Problems are an opportunity for creativity.

Always point to the successes.

The Law of Mirror: must see value in self to add value to self and others.

When people are pointing to failures, who’s going to point to your successes?

The price tag you put on self is the price tag others put on you.

The price tag you put on others is the price tag they put on themselves.

Once you’ve had a success, celebrate that success.

You’ve got to be your own champion.

Daily review your progress.

The Law of Consistency: motivation gets you going, but disciple keeps you growing.

Consistency compounds. It doesn’t show up in the beginning, but it does in the end.

“Occasional” doesn’t work in life. “Sometimes” doesn’t work in life.

The only way you can plan ahead and do well is to daily review your progress.

To get bigger in the future, you’ve got to be bigger in the present.

“Getting ready” is the secret of success. It will give you the highest return.

It’s not making the big decision for the future. It’s making


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SA Leadership Podcast Episode #149

Responsibility Capacity - Your Choice to Take Charge of Your Life


You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today! – Abraham Lincoln

Greatness is not a function of circumstance. Greatness, it turns out, is largely a matter of conscious, choice, and discipline – Jim Collins

Donald S. Drusky, in a law suit against God, Presidents Ronald Regan & George Bush, television networks, all 50 states, every single American, the FCC, all Federal Judges, and the 100th-105th Congress. He alleged that that his life had been ruined first by God and everyone named were willing accomplices in this plan of destruction.

His desired outcome was to have God to return his youth, grant him guitar playing skills of the greats, resurrecting his mother and his pet pigeon. If God fails to show up in court then God loses by default.

It is easy to laugh at such an outrageous abdication of responsibility in Mr. Drusky. Responsibility may not be the most exciting subject to review, but it is the most impacting. Here are six reasons why you and I should improve our responsibility which impacts our success.

Responsibility Creates the Foundation for Your Success

Novelist Michael Korda stated, “Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility. In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the ability to take responsibility.” Winston Churchill stated that the price of greatness is responsibility. Here are three key insights:

The size of the opportunity requires the same amount of responsibility.

Opportunity is lost when responsibility is neglected.

Tomorrow’s opportunity is determined by yesterday’s responsibility.

Responsibility Puts You In Control of Your Life

Many people think about their lives as something that just happens to them instead of something they can control themselves. They drift through life reacting to the actions of others instead of taking steps on their own behalf. Such people are like rudderless boats on the ocean, completely at the mercies of the tides to take them where they will. You can choose control the things that are within your control.

Responsibility Builds Your Self Esteem

The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs – Joan Didion. First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt stated, In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.

Responsibility Makes You Ready For Action

Theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer stated, “Action springs not from thought, but from a readiness for responsibility.” Author Korrapati in his book 108 Pearls of Wisdom for Every College Student writes, “It is often said that your thoughts become your actions. But without taking responsibility for your life, those thoughts often just stay on the mental stage and aren’t translated into action. Taking responsibility for your life is that extra ingredient that makes taking action more of a natural thing. You get stuck in just thinking and wishing so much. You become proactive instead of passive.

Responsibility Makes Your Habits Serve You

Positive habits are decisions that we make once and then take responsibility to manage daily. When you make a good decision and then manage that decision day-to-day, we see positive results through the development of those positive habits. Without management, a good decision dies. Lou Holtz stated that the person who complains the way the ball is dropped is likely the one who dropped it.

Responsibility Earns You Respect and Authority

Respect is gained on difficult ground and it is not given or granted to us if unearned. Stephen Covey, author of The Speed of Trust states, “Say what is on your mind. Don’t hide your agenda. When we talk straight, we tell the truth and leave the right impression. Most employees don’t think their bosses communicate honestly. This creates a trust tax. This causes speed to go down and costs to go up. We spend entirely too much time trying to decipher truth from spin.” Author Eric Greitens in the book Resilience writes, “The more responsibility people take, the more resilient they are likely to be. The less responsibility people take for their actions, lives, and happiness, the more likely it is that life will crush them. At the root of resilience is the willingness to take responsibility for results.


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SA Leadership Podcast Episode #148

Leadership Capacity - You Ability To Lift and Lead Others


In the 1970’s Earl Nightingale stated, “If a person spends one hour a day, five days a week for five years studying a single subject, he or she will become an expert on that subject.”

The truth of the matter is that the more that study the more you understand how much you do not know! There are two-sides to the Leadership Coin. Liz Wiseman former Oracle Executive and President of the Wiseman Group in Silicon Valley wrote a book, Multipliers: How the Best Leaders Make Everyone Smarter. She gave a presentation on The Five Disciplines of A Multiplier; Here are those five.

The Talent Magnet – attracts talented people and uses them at their highest point of contribution.

The Liberator – creates an intense environment that requires people’s best thinking and work.

The Challenger – defines an opportunity that causes people to stretch.

The Debate Maker – drives sound decisions through rigorous debate.

The Investor – gives other people ownership of the results and invests in their success.

However, Liz Wiseman goes on to state how that Multipliers unwittingly diminish people. Here are six thoughts.

The Idea Guy – intends his ideas to stimulate ideas in others but the results is that he overwhelms others, who often shut down.

Always on – intends to create infectious energy and share his point of view, but the result is that he consumes all of the emotional space, and other people tune him out.

The Rescuer – intends to ensure that people are successful and protect their reputation, but he makes people become dependent on him, which weakens their reputation.

The Pacesetter – intends to set a high standard for quality or pace, but people become spectators or give up when they can’t keep up.

The Rapid Responder – intends to keep the organization moving fast but the result is that the organization moves slowly because there is a traffic jam of too many decisions or changes.

The Optimist – intends to create a belief that the team can do it, but people wonder if he appreciates how difficult the journey is or acknowledges the possibility of failure.

Leadership development has a layering effect. We lead today from what we are learning today. Yesterday’s knowledge has led us to today’s opportunities. We must lead from the present and not the past. I want offer four (4) deep insights.

Ask Questions & Listen to Understand & Find Your People

Communication is the language of leadership. Author William Whyte stated that the great enemy of communication is the illusion of it. It seems that we tend to believe that as long as we are talking and giving direction that we are communicating. A leader focuses on vision and they tend to think that leadership is all about them and what they want to have happen. The truth of the matter it is more about getting to know those who labor with you and in turn they learn who you are. Leadership is a two-way street. Before we set things right as leaders – we need to see things right.

Connect With People Before Asking Them To Change

By nature leadership is about creating change. A leaders invites people to change their focus, energy, skills and sometimes direction of life. How do you get people to trust you with so many changes? The foundations of trust needs to be built on good relationships and good relationships start with good connection.

Demonstrate Transparency Before Challenging People

One of the most valuable things you can do to increase your leadership capacity is to be authentic and transparent with people. Share your story, especially before you challenge them to do something difficult. Too many leaders feel they must project a perfect image in order to have credibility. They feel they have to put their best foot forward. What they are missing is that their best foot forward is flawed. They miss the power of their imperfect story. The leaders story of struggle, growth, and improvement can inspire others and change their lives!

Put Others Ahead of Yourself

As a leader you must make the shift from ME to WE! Consider these three factors that will help you to make this change.

Reality As the Challenge Escalates, The Need For Teamwork Elevates. Are your dreams bigger than yourself? When we realize this truth, it motivates us to ask others for help. As important as it is to develop a vision – it is greater to develop others to achieve their vision and dreams. Elevate others!

Maturity With One Tiny Exception, The World is Composed of Others – Maturity is defined as unselfishness! Get over your own sense of worth and help others achieve significance!

Profitability Measure Your Success by What You Give, Not What You Gain – I want to close with these three thoughts…

Never focus on making money – focus on making people!

Never focus on starting companies – focus on starting people!

Never focus on growing production – focus on growing people!


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SA Leadership Podcast Episode #147

Production Capacity - Your Ability To Produce Results


Production Capacity can be increased dramatically and immediately if you are highly intentional about it. Consider that everything worthwhile in life – everything you want, everything you desire to achieve, everything you want to receive is uphill.

Notice the comparison in the “Down-hill Slide” and “Up-hill Climb” of life

Down Hill Slide

  • Nothing Worthwhile
  • Low Self-Esteem
  • Negative Momentum
  • Losses
  • Low Morale
  • Not Making A Difference
  • No Improvement
  • Aimless
  • Empty

Up Hill Climb

  • Everything Worthwhile
  • High Self Respect
  • Positive Momentum
  • Wins
  • High Morale
  • Making A Difference
  • Self-Improvement
  • Purposeful
  • Fulfilling

Nine Principles of Highly Productive People

Visualize The Perfect Outcome

Stephen Covey wrote in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, that we should always begin with the end in mind. Do you have a vision of what you want to accomplish? Have you created a mental model of perfection for what you desire to achieve?

Start Working Before You Know How to Achieve the Vision

At times you need to suspend the requirement of knowing how to do everything in your mental model of perfection. There are so many people who are not productive because they’ve made an inventory of everything that they cannot do and that becomes a BECAU

Fail Fast, Fail First, Fail Often

This step seems to fly in the face of the previous two steps. To be productive, you have to be willing to fail. A lot. You cannot always judge an action as success or failure. The question becomes, is this moving me toward my idea or vision? Are you willing to fail? Are you willing to fail repeatedly?

Stay Focused Longer Than Other People Do

To increase production capacity, initiate many tries at one thing, not one try and many things. This statement does not rely on talent, rather intentionality.

Take Inventory of Skills and Resources

The key question here is are you a thermometer reflecting the surrounding temperature? Are you a thermostat that sets the surrounding temperature? At times we cave into the opinions of the crowd around us. Set your temperature in life!

Stop Doing What You Are Not Great At Doing

You will drastically increase your production capacity if you stop doing what you’re not great at and instead focus on what you do the best. Eliminate things out of your schedule anything that does not give a high return.

Tune In To Your Team Every Day

Your success is determined by those closest to you. Tune into them regularly, listen to them, take them with you, because they determine the level of success you will achieve.

Make Decisions Every Day To Move Yourself & The Team Forward

You will only reach your production capacity if you are willing to make decisions. When it comes to ethical and character issues, YES there is a right and wrong. But when it comes to productivity and achievement, there isn’t. Make quick decisions, try new things, and judge whether or not they will move you forward.

Continually Reevaluate What Could Work Better

Productive people are always working to become better and to find better ways of doing things. The importance of a future focus or long-term perspective is the most accurate single predictor of upward social and economic mobility in America.


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SA Leadership Episode #146

Creative Capacity – Your Abilities to See Options and Find Answers


8 Keys To Increasing Creative Capacity

I Believe There Is Always an Answer

The words reactive and creative are made up of the same letters. The only difference is where you place the letter C. I believe the first lesson on creative capacity is how do we see challenges? I believe there is always an answer, no matter what the question is. The question moves from “Is there an answer?” to “What is the answer?” That is creativity in action! Creativity is a mind-set. You have to believe that answers and solutions are out there if your are willing to keep fighting to find them.

I Believe There Is More Than One Answer

The word OPTIONS is a great word. Consider what three options there might be to solving any problem. This keeps you open-minded. If you can become flexible and demonstrate the ability to adapt to fluctuating situations you

You will become more successful. When you believe there is always an answer, it aids your creativity.

I Believe That Everything and Everyone Can Get Better

Creative people always believe there are better ways to do things. Do not cap your expectations! What you define as impossible today is impossible only in the context of present paradigms. When you believe that everyone and everything can get better, it gives you confidence that you can make a difference.

I Understand That Questions Help Me To Be More Creative

Questions always spur creativity. They cause you to explore and to seek out and explore. But, the greatest detriment to continual success is relying on past success. John Wooden, 10 National Championships made this statement, “Everyday I coached I ask myself how could I make the team better?” Coach Wooden was never satisfied on yesterdays success.

I Am Confortable With Half-Baked Ideas

Consider this three step process on advancing half-baked ideas.

EXPOSURE of an idea to the right people

EXPRESSION from their different perspectives equals

EXPANSION of an idea beyond our personal ability

There are three benefits for following this simple three step process. First we increase our odds of being successful. Secondly, we gain more practice with creative ideas. Thirdly, we become more confortable with our misses.

I Am Confortable Letting Go of What I Embraced Yesterday

When was the last time that you had to let go of something that was special that no longer works today? It is easier to let go of something if you are going to get something better. By the same token you cannot fall in love with structure. When structure, rules and regulations becomes your security, you stop being creative.

I Ask Creative People To Help Me

This is more than a creative think-tank session. You want people that can help you generate an abundance of solutions, variety of solutions, the ability to build out good ideas, imaginative ideas, and they share your values and priorities. Leave out the critics, editors, educators, and analysts. They kill the process. You want people that will sore and fly high with ideas.

I Give Myself Creative Retreats

William Faulkner stated, “I write only when inspiration strikes. Fortunately, it strikes every morning at nine a.m. sharp.” Creativity flourishes in solitude. Learn to take thinking and planning retreat for yourself. There is a direct relationship between scheduling a creative retreat and being inspired to create.


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SA Leadership Episode #145

People Capacity - Your Ability To Build Relationships


In leadership, the “Law of The Inner Circle” says “A leaders potential is determined by those closest to him.”

It is said that people can usually trace their success and failures to the relationships in their lives. We are defined by our relationships. I want to consider seven steps to building better and more lasting relationships in your life.

Value People Every Day

You value people by adding value to people. My mantra is “Making a difference with people who make a difference, while doing something that makes a difference.” You cannot secretly look down on people and yet attempt to build them up at the same time. However, if you value people, it does show through in your actions and words.

Make Yourself More Valuable In Your Relationships

The fastest way to make a relationship better, is t make yourself better so that you can have more to give. This requires an abundance mind-set. Zig Ziglar said it this way, “If you will help others get what they want, they will help you get everything you need in life.” One of the fastest ways to show people you value them is by asking for their opinion. You see, the more that you can learn about people you are serving and the more you improve, the more value that you can add to others. Here is an important truth; “You need to improve yourself. You are not good enough to remain the same!

Put Yourself In Their World

Professor Leo Buscaglia stated, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential of turning a life around.” Have you heard the phrase, “It is lonely at the top.” To me that is a sign of being disconnected and that no one is following you. Walk slowly among the people so that you can touch them.

Focus Your Relationships on Benefiting Others Not Yourself

In building relationships you have to want more for people than you want from people. People who want more for others and give more to others are pluses. People who want and take more than they give are minuses. Do not assume that a relationship gives you privilege. Assumption is a relationship killer! Replace assumption with awareness. If you want to increase your relational capacity, you should be continually aware that relationships never stay the same. Relationships never stay alive on their own. They need cultivation!

Be A Consistent Friend In Your Relationships

Being a friend is something that in our modern culture I believe is often under-valued and overlooked today. Relationships that are volatile and continually up and down are not easy. They provide no relational rest. There is nothing pleasant about high maintenance relationships. You cannot be true friends with people you have to walk on eggshells or when any conversation could be the one that ends the relationship.

Believe the best about people – Rudyard Kipling stated, “I always prefer to believe the best of everybody – it saves so much trouble!”

Don’t allow other people’s behavior to control me

Place high value on relationships even in difficult situations

Unconditionally love people

Create Memories for People

It is true that most people do not maximize the experiences they have in life. Intentionality is required on the front end and reflection is required on the back-end. Ask yourself these questions:

What can I say that will affirm others?

What questions can I ask that they find interesting to discuss?

What can we do that will be different and fun?

What do I know that they want to know?

Move Toward The Relationships You Desire In Your Life

Use the power of “Proximity Principle” by getting next to ten people who can take your life to the next level.” Jim Collins in his book Good To Great suggests that the most important luck we can have in life is WHO LUCK! Who you meet in life and develop relationships with will greatly determine your success in life.

The more you value people, put yourself into their world, seek to add value to them, and be their friend, the better your life will be. Not only that, but doing these things will increase your people capacity, improve your potential and improve your life. Helping people is always worth the effort.


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