Emotional Capacity – Your Ability to Manage Your Emotions
Here are some basic facts:
- Most people do not see themselves as they really are.
- Many people don’t want to solve their problems, they only want someone to listen to them talk.
- Some people are not emotionally strong, and as a result, they do not cope well with life’s difficulties.
Here are seven (7) insights on how to increase your emotional capacity.
Emotionally strong people are proactive in dealing with their emotions.
The first and most important thing that emotionally strong people do is to take an active approach to their emotions. Researcher M. Asch in her book Perspectives on Applied Psychology states, “Remember motions are the precursors of emotions.” In other words you can influence the outcome of your emotions.
Emotionally strong people do not waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
One of the marks of resilience is learning to tell which pain deserves our attention – Eric Gretiens Navy Seal. This is not to say that we ignore all pain as though it does not count. We must lean that life will hand us difficult circumstances that either can ruin our attitude or we can welcome it as an opportunity for new learning.
Emotionally strong people do not allow others to control their relationships.
Elmer towns stated once that the weaker person usually controls the relationship. Education Professor Leo Buscaglia states, the easiest thing in the world to do is to be you. The hardest thing in the world is to be what others want you to be. We honor relationships, but we do not allow others to control our relationships.
Emotionally strong people do not waste energy on things they cannot control.
Nelson Mandela teaches us that our surroundings need not control our spirit. People who devalue us do not determine our value. Dreams can be birthed during the daily grind. Out of our brokenness, we can be made whole and bring healing to others. Learn the difference between a fact of life and a problem. A fact of life is something that you cannot fix or control. A problem is something that you can solve.
Emotionally strong people do not keep making the same mistakes.
How exhausting it must be for people to keep making the same mistakes and yet expecting different outcomes. Reflection, however turns experience into insight. At some point every person that intends on being successful must take charge of their thinking, direction, and self-talk. The discipline of reflection is where we can become honest with ourselves. How will you create greatness without sincerely dealing with yourself?
Emotionally strong people do not allow highs and lows to control their lives.
John Maxwell follows the 24 hour rule. After every victory he gives it 24 hours to celebrate. After failures, he engages 24 hours of reflection to gain a clearer perspective of what went wrong and why. Hang around positive people when you experience tough times. Better yet, make a difference in someone else’s life.
Emotionally strong people understand, appreciate and grow through their struggles.
Many people resist change, want immediate pay-off, and hope for a problem free life. Emotionally strong people do not expect immediate results. They understand the long haul journey of life. With out resilience, the first failure will also be the last – because it is final. Steve Jobs perhaps said it best, “Erase the board of your achievements and allow yourself to be a beginner again.”
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