The Hope Cycle

Hope is the antidote to fear. It gives us enough belief that good things can happen in the future. Hope can help us get through tough times and lead us to a more fulfilling life. Hope is much more than an emotion. It is actually a resourceful tool that is available and abundant. We just need to learn how to create and share it with others. 

To obtain hope, you need momentum. It is helpful to name the core beliefs that undergirds on how to hope. Not just knowing the core beliefs but, how they work together is even more important. Rick Snyder first proposed the idea of hopes three-part process that carries us to a better future. These three parts are presented as a set of learnable skills. Let’s examine these.

GOALS

We all seek out and identify an idea of where we want to go and what we desire to accomplish, who we want to become – whether tomorrow or over a lifetime. Many life goals are vague and fleeting and soon forgotten. Other goals are actively sharpened and modified over time. Hope is built from the goals that matter the most to us – we keep coming back to them time and time again. These types of goals fill our mind with pictures of the future.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1. 

Agency

The word agency is short-hand for our perceived ability to shape our lives day by day. As agents we know that we can make things happen or stop them from happening. We take the responsibility for moving forward toward our goals. In time we develop the necessary ability for the necessary motivation to stay the task. We build our capacity for persistence and long-term effort. Agency makes us the authors of our lives.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me – Philippians 4:13

Pathways

We seek out multiple pathways to our goals, pick the most important routes for our situation and monitor our progress over time. These are the plans that carry us forward. We remain in touch and aware of obstacles that can arise at any time. So, we remain curious and open to finding better paths to our desired future.

For now, see these elements as a continuous feedback loop. Each element can set the others into motion. Each interacts with the others in ways that can reinforce, modify, or diminish them. When each of these elements are strong, they form a cycle that enhances our hope. When even one element is weak hope diminishes until we intervene to strengthen the element that is undeveloped or failing.

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Discovering Hope

Hope is like oxygen it is a requirement for living! You cannot live without HOPE! Author Dr. Shane Lopez writes; I have convincing evidence that hopeful thoughts and behavior propel us toward well-being and success; hope underlies purpose driven action. It shows up in everything from going to school to leading an organization and communities. It correlates positively with health and even longevity and it does not depend on the level of our income or IQ (Making Hope Happen p.11).

On June 6, 1966 President Kennedy spoke at Cape Town University in what has become known as the “Ripples of Hope” speech to the student body. In this speech he referenced currents of change through education could be a means to improve not only our lives, but those of everyone around us.

The simple truth is that…

Hope Matters

Hope is a choice

Hope can be learned

Hope can be shared with others

When was the first time you came to the realization the present and the future are connected through our behavior. Hope is an active skill set that takes us from where we are to where we desire to go. It simply is the realization that we can get from here to there. “Here” is the present and in some sense, it is the least desirable against our imagined future. “There” is the target of our longing. You are the one that is moving from the present to your future. We expect something from the future and also from ourselves.

In our minds, our beliefs firm up links between ourselves and the future, priming people for hope. We accomplish this by setting high expectations about the future (tempered by reality) and then acting on them.

The hopeful among us share core beliefs that set them apart from everyone else. There are 4 core beliefs that should be considered.

The first of these 4 core beliefs on looking for hope in our futures starts with

The Future Will Be Better Than The Present

This first belief comes natural to us. Gallup polls have consistently shown that people are believe they will become better in time. Regardless of age, people generally believe that tomorrow holds promise things will be better.

I Have The Power To Make It So

To declare that I have the power to make the future better than the present requires us to see ourselves as lead actors in our life story. Add to this faith in God and now you realize you are acting according to God’s designed purpose in your life. This way of thinking about the future differs from “wishful thinking” and the various “positive thinking guru’s.” Your actions in conjunction with Divine Designed capabilities is what rearranges your tomorrows.

There Are Many Paths To My Goals 

There will always be obstacles in our life that force different choices and pathways to conquer obstacles between us our preferred future. We hold to the belief that obtaining some wins in life, we can see the link between between my actions and positive outcomes. The pathway forward is never a straight line and never a single line to our tomorrows,

No Path Is Free From Obstacles

Resourcefulness is the key! There are multiple strategies to move toward your goals. Resourcefulness suggests that if one pathway closes, another pathway can be cleared. As a result of resourcefulness, you gain momentum and staying power.

LINKS

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FREE GIFT – “Servant Leadership Questions” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

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Birkman Assessment

Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

4 Needs of Followers

There has been much written about post-pandemic leadership models, effective post-pandemic leadership strategies, and post-pandemic efforts to return to pre-pandemic days. Little to nothing is being said about those who follow our leadership. What do they need? How do we keep our workforce engaged?

John Maxwell has masterfully taught that leaders should never ask for a hand until they have touched a heart! Simon Sinek stated a similar truth; “Leadership is not about being in charge but caring for those under your charge! Both axioms are true at the same time because the starting premise is not the level of productivity that you can get from a follower, rather, it is the genuine care for those under your charge. In other words, you treat them as human beings not human doings!

In this podcast I am going to discuss the 4 Needs of Followers. Before I can do this, we must revisit the chaos of 2020 to understand why this podcast is of such value. Consider the follow chart.

Abnormal Grieving ProcessSocial DistancingMask Mandates
Shelter in PlaceE-Learning for our childrenOffices closed until further announcement
Click-ShoppingWorship Centers Shut DownNo Graduation Ceremonies
2020 Abnormalities

YES, our world has been turned on its head! Attempting to return to what we thought we had, is not an effective leadership strategy. All of us collectively have been impacted and stunned by this time period in history. As stated in our previous episode, PURPOSE is a timeless quality and is not disrupted by difficult epics and seasons. Vision on the other hand has time-limitations that are necessary to adapt and change in various seasons.

I want to give you 4 truisms that are not disrupted by epics and seasons of change – they are timeless and always relevant.

TURST – Honest leaders with integrity are always believable and they are in demand. History has recorded periods and epics of fraud and cheating. Yet honesty always shines through the darkness and reveals itself no matter what attempts to repress and tamp down its voice.

COMPASSION – This is a humanitarian issue – Do you know me as a human? This is the single greatest question that has quietly emerged as a result of the pandemic. Do you care about me? Can you help me? Realize people do not quit companies, they quit people!

STABILITY – Your followers need to see a sense of calm, clarity and purposeful resolve in the face of chaos. Are you providing this to your followers? Your stability as a leader is determined by higher purposes that keeps you anchored in the face of chaos.

HOPE – Do your followers see you leading from a posture that points the way forward to better days? Dr Shane Lopez defines Hope as; “the belief that the future will be better than the present, along with the belief that you have the power to make it so.” He goes on to say; “Hope is the leading indicator of success in relationships, academics, career, and business—as well as of a healthier, happier life.”

LINKS

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FREE GIFT – “Servant Leadership Questions” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

Executive Coaching Service– Private message me for details on this customizable service

Birkman Assessment

Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

Inspirational Leaders

Napoleon Bonaparte once stated that “Leaders are dealers in HOPE!” If you are a leader, how do you inspire hope in a chaotic world? Better yet, If you are a person that Trains the Trainer, how do you inspire those who need to inspire? 

Mark Cibort, President of Reaktor, North America wrote in INC Magazine an article entitled “5 Ways COVID Has Changed Leadership Forever.” this article was published one year ago. Here is what He stated;

1.Weaponizing Fear Is Over – Leaders that have grown accustomed to using FEAR as a motivational tactic will fail and fail hard. People are not buying the Fear angle for motivation.

2.Learn To Ask For Advise – Instead of asking yourself, Do I get permission or forgiveness; stop and consider a 3rd option. Ask for advise. Asking for advise can give you a larger prevue of your environment and circumstances.

3.Shared Values Beat Mission Statements – Shared Values inspire accountability much more than a mission statement can.

4.Move Decision Making Authority Down The Org Chart – As a leader you must let go of CONTROL and take on the role of SERVITUDE. 

5.Everything Is Hyper-Global – This is no longer about my little community, but it is much more global than ever.

With these five insights, I want to narrow the list down even further, I want to offer three key abilities of Post-COVID Leaders that is provided by Gallup Research. This is about facing the reality of today instead of looking backward and attempting to create a pre-COVID world that simply does not exist.

INSPIRE OTHERS – It is one thing to be inspired but quite another to inspire others. Possessing an abundance of energy is required to inspire and be inspired. This begins with a disciplined and healthy lifestyle.  The old adage is true; “Know thyself in order to grow thyself!” Simply stated if you are not in touch with your habits and disciplines, honestly it is not going to go well for you to inspire others. From this self-care position a post-COVID inspirational leader is a person that literally acts upon their inspiration.

COMMUICATES CLEARLY – Crisp, Concise, and Clear communication is required in a post pandemic world. The million-dollar question is how do we inspire those who need to inspire? I think it would be safe to say that inspiration in seasons of chaos is more than words on a wall. Vision statements are fine in seasons of calm and prosperity. In chaos an organization’s purpose is what will allow inspirational leaders to lead effectively.

LEAD CHANGE – I think it is safe to say there is a vacuum of qualified inspirational leaders. Since we are more globally connected than ever before our methods of business operations have been severely disrupted. Leading Change is not just a mantra but a skill that is desperately needed. Leading change requires revisiting our PURPOSE – this is the reason for exitance. Our purpose is timeless. Our vision is time-balanced. In seasons of chaos our vision does not make sense in the same way it did in seasons of calm. Purpose, however, in seasons of chaos is informed to a point that methodologies are reshaped, refined and more determined for such a time as this.

The global pandemic of 2020 to the present has been a significant disruption. The metrics previously used to measure success was for a pre-pandemic era. Many are coming out bigger and stronger. Others have closed their doors. In closing, 2021 should be declared as the year of RECOGNITION of those under your charge!

LINKS

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FREE GIFT – “Servant Leadership Questions” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

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Birkman Assessment

Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

Your Most Dangerous Thought

The old adage is true; “What got you here, will not get you there!” You must maintain a sense of Hunger for personal growth; Live out true humility in front of your team; demonstrate what servant leadership looks – that requires a different intelligence.

In order to set up the most dangerous thought a leader could ever have, I want to set the stage by discussing momentum’s impact upon Servant Leadership and Selfish Leadership. This most dangerous thought can occur from either context. Below is a comparison chart between Servant and Selfish Leadership.

Using the chart comparison, we need to understand that the 2-word most dangerous thought of leadership can occur in either column

Here is the Most Dangerous Leadership Thought……….

I Deserve……”

Why are these 2 words so dangerous?•You can slip into a sense of entitlement because you have given so very much•You turn the shear pain of leadership at times into your own personal sacrifice that you desire others to take notice of•Your contributions become only motivators to get what you want in return•Leadership can become a subtle misguided tool to achieve and get rewarded•What is overlooked – Servant Leadership does not look for anything in return nor does it feel entitled. 

LINKS

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FREE GIFT – “Servant Leadership Questions” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

Executive Coaching Service– Private message me for details on this customizable service

Birkman Assessment

Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

Is Your Leadership Worth Following?

Not all leadership is great leadership! There are certain qualities that true leaders cannot afford to go without. Here are some of those qualities.

HUMMILITY – C S Lewis accurately describes humility when he said that humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less. Recognize God’s giftedness in you and God’s calling upon. To do otherwise is like a song that ignores the composer. Jim Collins in Good To Great, suggests that humility is the key differentiator between good leadership and great leadership. If you are struggling with EGO, become less impressed with yourself and more impressed with your Team.

INTEGRITY – Basically the meaning is who you are on the outside matches who you are on the inside. Normal does not test your integrity. Look at your most recent crisis to see how you handled it – that will reveal your level of integrity.

PASSIONATE FAITH – A passionate faith is the hallmark of biblical leadership. I must acknowledge that passion is the most difficult component to master – it fades with time and is hard to maintain. Your team will only be as passionate as you are about the mission of the team.

EMOTIONAL HEALTH – You may be part of a larger enterprise and you may not know everyone’s name. One thing is for sure, your emotional health will impact every single person whether you know them of not. If you are unhealthy at the top, eventually people will be unhealthy at the bottom.

TRUSTWORTHINESS – One of the key results of COVID is that people are quietly asking 3 questions: Do you know me? Can you help me? Can I trust you? A negative response to any combination or all three and your team members will leave. People do not quit companies – they quit people!

TEACHABILITY – Effective Biblical Leadership begins with a teachable spirit and a learner’s heart! If you are the “Know it all” people will not follow your leadership. In fact, they checked out a long time ago – you simply have not awakened yourself to reality.

In closing, GREAT leaders will touch a heart before they ask for a hand!  

TEACHABILITY – Effective Biblical Leadership begins with a teachable spirit and a learner’s heart! If you are the “Know it all” people will not follow your leadership. In fact, they checked out a long time ago – you simply have not awakened yourself to reality.

In closing, GREAT leaders will touch a heart before they ask for a hand!  

LINKS

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on iTunes – SUBSCRIBE

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on Stitcher – SUBSCRIBE

FREE GIFT – “Servant Leadership Questions” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

Executive Coaching Service– Private message me for details on this customizable service

Birkman Assessment

Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

Cadence of Biblical Leadership

Jesus’ words in John 5:19 is our beginning point to understand a biblical cadence. Note his words; “…..the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what He sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does…the Son does likewise…”

The key take away from this passage is that God is active and the Son, Jesus Christ is getting into the flow of God’s work. The million-dollar question is; What is God doing in my life, church, community, and state that I need to get into that flow? So, what does the activity of God look like as we emerge from this so-called pandemic? The landscape is different, and the cadence of life has a different sound to it. This year, 2021 is being described as a tsunami of grief. The ungrieved losses are many coming out of 2020. The upside-down manner in memorializing family members in 2020 has left a massive impact upon our soul. Churches that no longer look and feel like the pre-pandemic days has shocked leaders and attendees.

The reality of losses from 2020 cannot be resolved with Christianized language or church speak. Ungrieved losses has a sound thatuncensored and more primal. Anguish is a term that comes to mind whenattempting to wrestle with loss on this level. I want to give you a paradigm of Biblical Leadership that demonstrates a true cadence of leading. There are 4 facets to this cadence.

#1 – AWAKENING: There is a tension between 2 forms of awakening. 1) There is an awakening the pandemic is ending and now we can get back to pre-pandemic normalcy. 2) There is an awakening of re-setting or re-starting over because the leadership landscape is so vastly different than pre-pandemic days. The first form is filled with anguish because because the cadence of what we had is not present. The second form recognizes the sound of a new cadence and cries out for insight to get into a new flow of life.

#2 – ABIDING – The mere suggestion of ABIDING denotes forbearance and patience. However, if our leading is to create the past this will lead to frustration. If we embrace a new cadence because of the pandemic, we will look for God’s activity and then abide in this reality while awaiting the rightmoment to get involved in a new flow of activity. Patience andperseverance are only shaped and matured in seasons of suffering.

#3 – ANNOINTING – Patience and perseverance are precursors to a new anointing. Biblical anointing represents being commissioned and protected for a new cadence never heard and experienced. Once anointing is embraced, we now can lead into a new rhythmic flow into a new tomorrow with confidence that the Almighty is on our side. I had a wise professor that repeated a mantra often; “Do not doubt in the darkness what God has shown you in the light!” This mantra was a revealer of what in fact God was showing me in the light – eternal Biblical principles not ”lights, camera, action!” The anointing is an outflow of abiding.

#4 – AUTHORITY: This term has been severely abused. The abuse stems from measuring the wrong trends and outcomes. If we believe the sheer force of mechanical methodology determines merit, then we are seriously out of step with the cadence of daily life. There is KEY leadership maxim that states; “Do not ask for a hand until you touch a heart! People are asking 1) Do you know me? 2) Can you help me? & 3) Can I trust you? If the answer is NO to any one or combination ofquestions, you will lose the very people you are attempting to influence on behalf of your enterprise. Said another way; Leadership is not being in CHARGE, it is caring for the people in your CHARGE!

KEY QUESTIONS

•Am I truly experiencing an awakening or a longing for yester-year?

•What is my level of hope, trust, and security?

•What is the basis of my life call?

•Whose authority am I standing upon?

LINKS

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on iTunes – SUBSCRIBE

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on Stitcher – SUBSCRIBE

FREE GIFT – “Servant Leadership Questions” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

Executive Coaching Service– Private message me for details on this customizable service

Birkman Assessment

Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

Ungrieved Losses

Let’s pause for just a minute. If 4-in-5 Spiritual Leaders are stating it is difficult to invest in spiritual development and if running on fumes is the new normal; what is the person seated in the auditorium receiving for their spiritual development?

As if the opening statement is not bad enough, 39% of Pastor’s are questioning their role and function in these troubled days. Only 6% of spiritual leaders have a clear vision for the next 5 years. Personally, I believe the real problem lies within our perception. Our MISSION is not broken – our methods are! Truthfully, we are all wounded healers!CHAOS can be the center of great innovation. If you doubt this fact, you need only to read the book, Some Kind of Crazy. An unforgettable story, in the tradition of Hillbilly Folklore and Education, that reveals how a careful look at a broken past can open a path to profound healing and a satisfying future. 

Author Terry Wardle grew up in the Appalachian coalfields of southwestern Pennsylvania, part of a hardscrabble family of coal miners whose cast of characters included a hot-tempered grandfather with a penchant for blowing up houses, a distant and disapproving father, and a mother who disciplined him with harsh words and threats of hellfire.

I believe that Spiritual Leaders are living at the confluence of 3 realities.1.A Convoluted development from their past – You must spend time in learning your family of origin. Your past is the driver of your present when you leave it to chance.2.Congenital Brokenness or engrained development or habits of living that are inbred that are denying you of leadership victory.3.Confluence of congregational expectations – these are not real and absolutely must be kept in check. You are not all things to all people.

Wounds in our inner being can create false beliefs, false beliefs create emotional upheaval that creates dysfunction. So, the million-dollar question is; What is ungrieved loss? Truthfully, every loss in life should be given its season for appropriate grief work.

You need only study Psalm 109 – which is a brutal Psalm of suffering and agony. There are 29 verses of anguish before you get to the doxology of worship. Could it be that our journey of brokenness has skipped the confrontation of dysfunction and wounds and we want to go straight to the doxology of praise and worship? Truly we hold a tension between suffering and joy!

Every loss has a loss within a loss. Question: what is the ungrieved loss in my life Lord? That question must be met head on before we get to the doxology.

In these difficult times we need to understand that optimism is only an idea that things will get better. Hope, however, says that God can break into our suffering at any moment. Daniel Segal suggests in his paradigm of suffering that we are to be flexible, adaptive, possess a coherence of what was, is, and will be.

It is only when we learn to pause during suffering that we can discern what the Holy Spirit is doing NOW, not what is next!

LINKS

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on iTunes – SUBSCRIBE

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on Stitcher – SUBSCRIBE

FREE GIFT – “Servant Leadership Questions” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

Executive Coaching Service– Private message me for details on this customizable service

Birkman Assessment

Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

Mental Health Awareness Pt 2

Currently

44% of Americans state that Churches should be the center of counseling within the community.

74% of nonpracticing Christians 3 out of 4 people stated they would reengage the church if they offered sermon teaching content and mental tools and resources

Statistics are strongly suggesting that people do not want to engage Faith that is only true – they also want it to be good for humankind. Churches have a wide-open door to present more than a gospel message, but the benefit of a faith journey.

50% of Christians do not see their church showing up in the community to address mental health awareness and offering resources. Counseling centers are at the fore-front.

6% of nonbelievers say that the church cares about me or offers emotional and mental health assistance.

Key Question: What is emotional/spiritual health?1.Awareness of what is going on the inside2.Knowing my family of origin – culture impacts who I am today3.Where are you in comprehension of biblical grief and loss – Study the Lamentation Psalms and the bible book of lamentations

A key thought to consider if your life is over-worked and underdeveloped? Are you out of control? Are you doing more publicly than what your inner-life can sustain? Simply bearing fruit does not necessarily equate to  being emotionally well.

Is your prayer life always getting something from God versus being alone with God? Are we developed in an Americanized Jesus instead the formation of Christ in me? Formation in Christ is more than programs

What is the difference between between a Crucified Jesus vs. an Americanized Jesus? There are 4 responses to this question based upon the book of Matthew that Jesus had to constantly teach the Disciples to not become and perform in these 4 arenas. 

Be Popular – Jesus did not have a popular ministry  compared to the religious structure of the day. The Apostle Peter wanted to erect memorials – Jesus rejected this popularity.

Be Great – Many biblical scholars point out that Jesus absolutely fought against “GREATNESS-ism”

Be Successful – Jesus wanted to be among the people

Avoid Suffering and Pain at all costs – How many of our prayer meetings is about redemption from pain and suffering. It is time to embrace pain and suffering as part of the life experience by looking to Jesus himself for guidance on how to get through – not around it! 

What are the quality markers of success?

Am I relaxing in Jesus – Christlikeness is the core?

Being with Jesus and relaxing in self – is that sufficient to sustain what I am doing?

A full room of people does not equal spiritual flourishing

People’s loss needs to be validated and affirmed – not ignored!

Revelation of God only comes from the deep well of suffering and loss

The degree that we are able to  to grieve our losses is the degree of our compassion for other people.

LINKS

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on iTunes – SUBSCRIBE

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on Stitcher – SUBSCRIBE

FREE GIFT – “Servant Leadership Questions” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

Executive Coaching Service– Private message me for details on this customizable service

Birkman Assessment

Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

Mental Health Awareness

I suppose it goes without saying, but 2020 has proven to be very difficult in non-profit enterprises. The isolation, social distancing, and learning to speak into a camera, Questioning if anyone would return to church, have all served to be an extraordinary year filled with pressure. Tim Keller in a recent interview with Barna Research Group shared his journey of a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer last August. His story is a crisis within a crisis. His wife one day, “How are you feeling?” Keller’s response was, “At least I am not pastoring presently!” From the lips of a dying Pastor, his assessment of how he is doing in the death journey is to declare, at least I am not pastoring. Does that give you a snapshot of the difficulty?

Barna Research has been diligent in their research in 2020. Ever since week #1 of the pandemic to the present there have been thousands surveyed to assess the weekly impact of what was happening. The results through this journey have been shocking to say the least. Here are some glimpses regarding mental health.

The stats regarding mental health during 2020 are eye-opening.

73% of faith leaders state they feel isolated

63% of faith leaders feel lonely

59% of faith leaders feel depressed (47% in 2018)

Here is perhaps the most eye-opening information. When researchers began to ask why this happening – 39% of faith leaders have stated they never have talked to anyone about their own mental health. 75% have never talked to a counselor. SHOCKING! 

What is it about the structures of non –profit leadership that allows these stats to go virtually untouched or noticed. Is it time to re-evaluate the very structure of faith leadership and our expectations of it? Should we question the idea of a Lead Minister becoming the CEO of a Church Corporation, be the chief spokesperson, Head of the Elder Board, and be the primary vision caster? Who holds these types of leaders accountable, Truthfully?

Julie Wilson and Kayla Stoecklein are two single parent Pastor’s Wives whose husbands both committed suicide while leading their congregations. Recently in a Barna Podcast these two ladies share their stories of what it felt like and how they had to pick up the broken pieces of life. Here is the link to that podcast: https://churchpulseweekly.org/2021/05/wilson-and-stoecklein/

These Minister’s wives offer some very keen observations that is worth reviewing. Both Husbands were pastoring very successful churches at an early age. Both stated that success can be just as a great of a burden and failures. The pressure to keep raising the bar of excellence can become crippling.

I found it interesting when they discussed that Spousal impact is far greater than realized in the moment. Becoming Co-burdened can crush you as a spouse. What happens is that you adapt the atmosphere of the home and children based upon the mood of your spouse when they arrive home. You walk on egg-shells.

Both acknowledged that leadership without true accountability can become fatal in the long run. In other words, is there not someone that will say, “You need time off, you are not well emotionally and mentally, and you cannot get in the pulpit today. That is a BOLD statement to be making! Yet, there is truth in these thoughts. Perhaps we need to structure time away from the office as part of the expectation of performance coupled with mental health check-ups. Time off – Rest – Sabbaticals all should be part of the modern era of ministry. Do we actually allow our ministers to be truly human?

Form more information about the work and ministry of these two Pastor’s wives post suicide their websites are listed below. In the words of Kayla; When my husband took his last breath, I took my first into a new life I never dreamed would happen.

Follow Kayla: Instagram (@kaylasteck), BK.: Fear Gone Wild: A Story of Mental Illness, Suicide, and Hope Through Loss

Follow Juli: Instagram (@juliwilson), anthemofhope.org (mental health resources and live chat)

LINKS

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Leadershift by John Maxwell

Q&A – Contact me at ShepherdsAdvantage@gmail.com

Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!