In leadership, the “Law of The Inner Circle” says “A leaders potential is determined by those closest to him.”
It is said that people can usually trace their success and failures to the relationships in their lives. We are defined by our relationships. I want to consider seven steps to building better and more lasting relationships in your life.
Value People Every Day
You value people by adding value to people. My mantra is “Making a difference with people who make a difference, while doing something that makes a difference.” You cannot secretly look down on people and yet attempt to build them up at the same time. However, if you value people, it does show through in your actions and words.
Make Yourself More Valuable In Your Relationships
The fastest way to make a relationship better, is t make yourself better so that you can have more to give. This requires an abundance mind-set. Zig Ziglar said it this way, “If you will help others get what they want, they will help you get everything you need in life.” One of the fastest ways to show people you value them is by asking for their opinion. You see, the more that you can learn about people you are serving and the more you improve, the more value that you can add to others. Here is an important truth; “You need to improve yourself. You are not good enough to remain the same!”
Put Yourself In Their World
Professor Leo Buscaglia stated, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential of turning a life around.” Have you heard the phrase, “It is lonely at the top.” To me that is a sign of being disconnected and that no one is following you. Walk slowly among the people so that you can touch them.
Focus Your Relationships on Benefiting Others Not Yourself
In building relationships you have to want more for people than you want from people. People who want more for others and give more to others are pluses. People who want and take more than they give are minuses. Do not assume that a relationship gives you privilege. Assumption is a relationship killer! Replace assumption with awareness. If you want to increase your relational capacity, you should be continually aware that relationships never stay the same. Relationships never stay alive on their own. They need cultivation!
Be A Consistent Friend In Your Relationships
Being a friend is something that in our modern culture I believe is often under-valued and overlooked today. Relationships that are volatile and continually up and down are not easy. They provide no relational rest. There is nothing pleasant about high maintenance relationships. You cannot be true friends with people you have to walk on eggshells or when any conversation could be the one that ends the relationship.
Believe the best about people – Rudyard Kipling stated, “I always prefer to believe the best of everybody – it saves so much trouble!”
Don’t allow other people’s behavior to control me
Place high value on relationships even in difficult situations
Unconditionally love people
Create Memories for People
It is true that most people do not maximize the experiences they have in life. Intentionality is required on the front end and reflection is required on the back-end. Ask yourself these questions:
What can I say that will affirm others?
What questions can I ask that they find interesting to discuss?
What can we do that will be different and fun?
What do I know that they want to know?
Move Toward The Relationships You Desire In Your Life
Use the power of “Proximity Principle” by getting next to ten people who can take your life to the next level.” Jim Collins in his book Good To Great suggests that the most important luck we can have in life is WHO LUCK! Who you meet in life and develop relationships with will greatly determine your success in life.
The more you value people, put yourself into their world, seek to add value to them, and be their friend, the better your life will be. Not only that, but doing these things will increase your people capacity, improve your potential and improve your life. Helping people is always worth the effort.
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