Many people get ready to get ready. Maybe you would like to learn to play the piano. You research teachers in your area and maybe even call around for schedules but then you stop short of setting up your first session. Why is this? Why is it so hard to get started? It’s very simple. Fear.

Fear is a debilitating emotion that can keep you from reaching your full potential. We all have fears and many of us have learned that until we conquer our fears, we are stuck. We can’t start that project or that goal or achieve that which we so desire.

How do we start when we are scared stiff? Instead of working on the fear, let’s try a different approach and let’s look at the end result. Using the piano example, maybe this has been a dream all your life to learn but you never had the chance; circumstances got in the way. And now you have the time and you have the means to get the lessons but you are afraid. What if you stink at it? What if you are too old to learn? What if you can’t master the keys and the chords? So what! So what! You will never know unless you try.

Think about your vision, your dream of playing that concerto piece you love so much. Or playing that Billy Joel song. Whatever your vision is of learning to play the piano – that is what you need to focus on every day. Every time you get scared, every time you doubt yourself, see yourself at your first recital playing a piece you practiced for hours and hours, day after day and now you are ready to play for a group. Imagine yourself experiencing the enjoyment of reading the music sheet and then turning the notes into actual music – pouring out of the piano – imagine how that would feel.

Now is the time to start. No more excuses.

You set that lofty goal and you are ready to go for it but something holds you back. Something inside you says, hold on, what do you think you are doing?

Fear steps in and you become unsure of that goal now. You aren’t ready. This isn’t the time. Tomorrow, yeah tomorrow is a better day…

Stop! It’s time to reboot and remove the uncertainty and fear. Taking risks is part of life. It is necessary to achieve new levels, to achieve goals. If you want the most out of life, you will have to take risks and stretch yourself. Something worth having is also worth taking a risk for.

Here are 4 steps to help you as you navigate through taking risks:

1. Evaluate the risk. Before you begin, see the end in mind. Imagine achieving your goal, imagine the benefits and rewards. Keep your reason for wanting this in the forefront of your mind – know your ‘why’.
2. Know the obstacles. Identify what may get in your way and prepare yourself mentally so when you do come up against an obstacle, you are prepared.
3. Begin your journey. No more getting ready to get ready. It is time to start. It is time to take that first step forward.
4. Enjoy the journey. You may not hit your goal as quickly as you want and that is ok. If you achieve it too easily, it wasn’t a stretch for you.

Risk taking is a crucial part in achieving goals and living your dreams. You cannot get from A to B without taking a step. And sometimes there will be rocks in the road. Keep the end in mind and you will glide through the process better equipped for the journey.

There is a video trending on YouTube of a little 2 year old boy with sprinkles on his face and his mother asks him if he has gotten into the sprinkles and he denies it. She continues to ask him if he is sure he hasn’t eaten any sprinkles and he says no. She even asks him how the chair was pushed up to the counter where the sprinkles are spilled out and he says he doesn’t know. She then asks him if he saw anyone come and push the chair up to the counter and eat the sprinkles and he continues with his story of not knowing anything. She asks him one last time and he tells her he absolutely did not eat the sprinkles as a two year old can best explain.

Of course we all know he ate the sprinkles and we believe he pushed the chair to the counter and made the mess while he was eating the sprinkles. He wouldn’t take responsibility for his actions. He knew at that early age that what he did was wrong and that there were consequences to his actions that were not favorable so he tried the lying tactic. However he was only two and clearly not sophisticated enough to wipe his mouth clean of the evidence!

How often have we as adults been in a similar situation where we know the impending outcome to our actions is, on the surface, more painful than telling the truth so we skirt around taking responsibility and either deny or deny and then blame someone or something to take the heat off us? I can certainly raise my hand. I am sure you can too. Whether it is a little white lie or a doozey of a lie. We have all been in similar situations where it just seems like the better choice. But is it?

When we take responsibility and say – yes, I did that or, yes I forgot to do that, or I am sorry for what I did even though the initial reaction may be negative and depending on the indiscretion, may result in a severe punishment such as losing a job or ending a relationship, in the end, it is always the best decision.

Responsibility is defined as the state or fact of being accountable for something within one’s power, control or management. Everyone makes mistakes or indiscretions of varying degrees. That is part of being human. Taking responsibility is the best way of handling those mistakes and beginning the healing path to becoming whole again.

Significance Begins HERE

Every few weeks or so, my children hand me a progress report. It tells me how they are doing in school, what their strengths are and if there are areas that need improvement. Imagine if you could get a progress report every few weeks or so on how you are doing in life! Wouldn’t that be helpful?

If I could special order a report on my progress, I would want to know how I was doing with my relationships specifically with my spouse, my kids, my extended family, my workmates, my friends, my neighbors and my acquaintances.

Then I would want to know how I was doing with my job. How was I progressing in my career and how could I improve. Some jobs do check ins and annual assessments but imagine knowing more often. That would be so helpful for me to receive that feedback.

After that I would want to know how I was doing with my goals. How was I hitting my financial goals? How was I hitting my personal development goals? How was I hitting my health goals and so on…? You get the point.

This would be so helpful to receive a progress report like my children do. So I was brainstorming with my mentor and he suggested I create such a progress report and he would gladly fill it in as often as I needed it. What a thought!! So we did. And it has been an incredible asset to me to see how I am progressing through those things I hold very important in my life. Those things I want to improve upon. Those things I have hit spot on and now I can create new goals and targets.

Progress always seemed scary to me in the past because to progress, you must change and I was like a lot of people, afraid of change, happy with status quo but I really wasn’t. My fear of change, my fear of progressing superseded my desire for change.

Now I can add my progress report to my overall life map. Now I have those frequent check-ins to review which helps me tweak my behavior. Now I know I will hit my goals faster and more efficiently because I am receiving that feedback that is helping me progress to the next level.

Significance Begins HERE

What a grand emotion love is. Imagine a life without love. Research says a baby’s brain will not develop properly in the absence of love. Wow that is powerful! Love is very powerful. Look at your own life experiences. Can you recall a time when you felt unloved? How did that make you feel? Depressed? Lonely? Anxious?

Imagine a life full of love! Do you have that now? Are you content with the amount of love you have in your life? Are you giving love to others? Are you receiving love? If you aren’t completely happy with your relationships both giving and receiving, then it may be beneficial to learn what options you have to create that life.

Did you know you could sit down right now and begin the process of creating that perfect life you desire? The one full of love and compassion and whatever else you want. I don’t use the word need because what we need and what we want are very different. We all need food, shelter and water and according to research, love. And we want many more things like comfort, warmth, relationships, fulfillment, purpose, and material things.

So let’s focus on love for the moment. To achieve the love you want in your life, begin by talking a piece of paper and I discourage you from using a computer or other device as there is something magical to actually writing down your wants and mapping out your life.

Take the piece of paper and define the perfect scenario or definition for love. What does it mean to you. Take as long as you need and write as much as you can. Describe it in detail. If it means a foot rub every night from your significant other than write that. If it means finishing another’s thoughts then write that. Write whatever comes to mind and keep writing until you are satisfied that you have defined Love.

Now, evaluate your current relationships. Do they match what you define as love? Are you satisfied with the love you are getting and just as importantly are you living up to your definition of love? Are you giving this love to others? It goes both ways.

Know that you can’t change how someone else is but truly look at how you are expressing yourself now. People copy each other – if you give love unconditionally and expect nothing in turn, those closest to you, those who care and love you will reciprocate this love. You will find your relationships will become deeper and more satisfying as you focus more on your giving and less on your receiving.

Love is a wonderful thing – it needs nurtured and developed and now is the perfect time to start.

Significance Begins HERE  Generosity is the selfless act of giving with no expectation of anything in return. The beauty of being a generous person is that even though intentions are to receive nothing in return, the giver in fact receives tenfold.

How can that be? Why if being generous is so fruitful more people would engage in this behavior? Simple, in today’s society, we are accustomed to the hear and now – at microwave speed. I give you something and you give me something in return right now – today – this minute. Immediate gratification.

If I donate my time and energy for a cause that is fundraising money to build clean water wells in Haiti, I won’t see the fruit of my labor today and in fact I may never see it in my lifetime. But giving from my heart – giving, knowing that a person who drinks from that well won’t be knocking on my door handing me a couple bucks for my time, but knowing that a person will one day be drinking clean healthy water and living a healthier better life because I took the time is worth more than a couple bucks. I traded my time to help someone better their life.   And we may never meet.

I didn’t need that instant gratification. What I get back is knowing that somewhere, someone in the future is benefiting from something I did today. I give of myself knowing I will not get anything tangible in return. I give from my heart.

We can give of ourselves each and every day by smiling at a stranger, helping an elderly person put groceries in their car, working at a food bank, shoveling a neighbor’s driveway, cutting someone’s lawn… that selfless act of paying it forward through generosity. What a beautiful concept.

Significance Begins HERE

The first thing that comes to mind is yoga. When we practice yoga everyday our bodies become flexible and we are able to bend down and touch our toes and scratch that sweet spot on the back we couldn’t get before.  

How about yoga for the mind? How about stretching and letting go and practicing and breathing and holding poses (thoughts) for periods of time? Mental yoga! What a concept. If you have ever taken a yoga class then you know exactly what I am talking about. And if you haven’t – go take one right now!

Yoga is the practice of stretching and holding poses for periods of time and focusing on your breathing – a movement meditation that grounds you and balances your chakras. It is absolutely relaxing and worth a try.

Now let’s do that with our minds – opening up and letting in all the happiness that we all crave. Isn’t that what everyone says – when asked – what do you want – I want to be happy. Why are so many people unhappy? Are they really unhappy or do they just need to do some mental yoga to open up their minds and welcome in flexibility?

What does it mean to be flexible? More than willing to meet someone 30 minutes later than scheduled. It means to embrace life, live in the present, be open to change, be willing to accept what is, to be happy that you are breathing and your heart is beating. This is freedom. This mental wellbeing is what flexibility is.

This isn’t to be confused with accepting everything as is and thinking all is good and positive. There is a yin and yang to everything. With good is bad. With cause is effect. But imagine using the entire spectrum of emotions to move you towards those things that you value the most. Family, health, life… whatever is most important to you.

• Stretch your mental muscles through acceptance, curiosity and commitment.
• Accept negative emotions as opposed to trying to control or eliminate them. This in turn will help you make better choices and decisions and will reduce anxiety.
• Curiosity allows you to observe and explore negative reactions without judgments that will cloud and impede the learning process.
• Freeing your mind from resistance makes committing to actions and behaviors easier and allows you to be more open.

Negative thoughts should be accepted into your mind – then ask yourself why you are thinking that way and what is the outcome you seek by having these negative thoughts – then release them making room for more productive positive thoughts to enter.

Significance Begins HERE

Can you imagine that there may be a better way to doing what you do? Can you accept that idea? Are you open minded enough to ask others for differing opinions? If you are able and willing to look at things through different eyes, read on. 

How many times have you completed your daily routine without even thinking twice about which shoe went on first, if you brushed your teeth, if you washed your hair?

We are creatures of habit. We do things a certain way because, well, it works! Or that’s how I always did it. Because, I don’t know! Because that is how my mom/dad taught me. Because that is what my big brother did… Hmmmm.

So maybe it’s time to re-examine how you do what you do and why you do it and see if there is a better more efficient way of doing it? Maybe if you stop for a moment and say ok, I am going to consciously take notice of my life, my actions, my choices, you may immediately see that its time for a change.

Awareness is key to moving from a dependent state of doing to an independent state of being. Examine your actions and take responsibility for the outcomes. Now that you are aware of your outcomes and how you got there, examine these outcomes and decide if these need changed as well. By focusing on the end result, you can make the necessary changes early on to better direct your time and energy.

Significance Begins HERE

A commitment should be treated as a binding contract with yourself. However many of us break our commitments. We commit to people, banks, work, pets, ourselves… A commitment is something that you have no doubts about. Something you give 100% of your whole self to. 

Commitment is a fulfilling endeavor that when followed through gives an immense sense of accomplishment. Think about something you have committed to, followed through with to the end, and how you felt at the end knowing you didn’t break it along the way. Weight loss, getting a formal education, going for the big contract and landing it…
Sometimes commitment can be confused with staying with something long after you should. Like a dead end job or a loveless marriage. If you have any of this in your life, let’s look at it for a moment. Ask yourself why you are still in something that you have doubts about or don’t believe in or worse yet, that you give less than all of you to. People pick up on this subtle behavior. To stay committed to something, you have to put effort in and periodically change up what you are doing to keep it alive and fresh.

Commitments are what ground you and keep you active and engaged in life. Being free and having few commitments sounds so refreshing to many who have spouses, children, pets, jobs, mortgages… but for only a fleeting moment when life feels heavy and burdensome. We are social creatures who desire connections and relationships with others; a sense of accomplishment and pride in our contributions to making life better for everyone in our lives including ourselves.

Sometimes we need help with our commitments and we seek out this help through our friends, co-workers, spouses, coaches, mentors… By asking for help, we are strengthening our commitment to ourselves and others; we are fulfilling our obligations contractually with ourselves to follow through to the end, no matter what it takes.

A cursory search of the English Standard Version of the Bible  reveals some 35 references and usages of the word translated “thanksgiving.” At the heart of meaning on this term in the Old Testament, it indicates that a person would open their mouth and utter words of blessing, gratitude, and thanks for obvious blessings and favor upon a person’s life. Intentionality would be a key thought – I choose to express thanks as opposed to when I feel like it. The focus in the Old Testament certainly is Godward. The New Testament takes this term and dramatically imposes upon us the meaning and purposes for Thanksgiving. The term translated “thanksgiving” is derived from the actual term “Eucharist.” The Eucharist embodies the highest form of thanks because it moves from focusing on our stuff to God’s plan – Jesus Christ our Savior by means of the shedding of blood forgives our sins so that we may be adopted into His family as sons and daughters. WOW! Thanksgiving moves our attention away from our stuff to God’s plan for eternity.

With these thoughts as a backdrop, it becomes obvious that thanksgiving has lost true purpose moving from a daily acknowledgement of God’s plan to entitlements. Counselor Craig Lounsbrough from Denver, Colorado makes some interesting observations that are noteworthy.

 A Sense of Entitlement – The true spirit of thanksgiving is contrary to entitlement. Somewhere deep within us our culture grooms and grows us for entitlement. When that is seeded then our attitude moves from gratefulness to entitlement. If I am entitled then where is the need for thanksgiving? If I am owed and it is in fact mine to claim, why thanksgiving? As this spirit grows it becomes not the product of anything that produced it.  It is a product of our entitlement.  This being the case, it should simply be; and if it should be, and in the being it should be ours, why the need for thankfulness?

 Our Lost Sense of Privilege – In abundance, we tend to assume abundance.  “Life is just this way,” we think. It’s natural. It just is. What is in actuality a profound blessing is seen as the norm; even the mundane.  Food should always be in abundance on the shelves in the grocery. An endless array of products should adorn the aisles of every store we enter.  Water and electricity should be there at our beck and call; never failing to respond to a turn of the tap or a flip of the switch regardless of the time of day.  Whatever our needs (as complex and multiple as they are) the resources for those needs should be within easy reach or at least easily attainable. What about the other two-thirds of the worlds’ population that has no comprehension of this kind of privilege? What do we say to then? In regaining our sense of privilege we regain our sense of thankfulness!

 Our Sense of Speed – It’s always about the next thing . . . whether it’s our relentless attempts to achieve the next thing or our dreadful fear that the “next thing” will never happen.  Whatever the case might be, we live in a culture that’s programmed for extreme fast-forward.  We move so insanely fast that we often forget where we’ve been and we have trouble keeping track of how far we are from where we want to go.  There is no time for reflection or to put down roots.  Most of our lives move in a wild fury of crazed momentum, flinging and flailing forward, or in some direction. We don’t have time to be thankful.  In the blur of it all, we most often can’t even remember the things or the people or the events that flew by us that we should be thankful for.

 Our Lost Sense of Wonder – We have opted to see life as that which we control and manage, rather than that which moves in mysterious and unexpected ways.  We no longer marvel, rather we manipulate.  As children, we looked wide-eyed at a world brimming with wonders.  Now we analyze, dissect and create action-plans to control it all; sterilizing life into a wondrous oblivion.  In the end we control just enough to give us an illusion that we control it all, or most of it anyway.  In reality, we don’t. So we lose the miraculous because we only pay attention to it to the degree that we can control it.  The truly astounding flows right by us because it’s not something that we made or can control so it doesn’t hit our radar.  The world is brimming with phenomenal wonders that leave plenty of room for a sense of thankfulness if we simply allow the miraculous to be the miraculous.

There are some obvious adjustments that must be made. Start by relinquishing our entitlement mentality. Recapture a sense of wonder and awe. Readjust the speed at which we live our life. Vigorously adjust a sense of privilege. Stir these components together vigorously to recapture true thanksgiving – The Eucharist! Christ paid a debt He did not owe and I owed a debt that I could not pay! Thank you Jesus for my salvation!