In Getting Grit, Caroline Adams Miller walks us through the science of grit and then helps us apply it to our lives.
One of the main lessons from the book is the fact that gritty people don’t fear failure. They KNOW (!) that to do great things they will, inevitably, fail. A lot.
As she says, “They have to go outside their comfort zone over and over to get where they want, all the while with no guarantee of success. That doesn’t stop them, though; they’d rather bet on themselves than accept a life in which they’ll never know what might have been.”
That last line about preferring to bet on themselves rather than accept a life in which they’ll never know what they might have been reminds me of two things.
First, I’m reminded of Sonja Lyubomirksy’s wisdom on The Science of Regret. Short story: We have a weird ability to adapt to whatever hardships we face in our lives. So, our failures don’t actually wind up bothering us as much as we think they will. (We’re poor “affective forecasters” as the behavioral economists like to say.)
That leads me to thinking about this powerful gem: “Someone once told me the definition of Hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.”
Imagine that for a moment. Fast-forward to the end of your life. You’re just about to die and then in walks the version of you that YOU COULD HAVE BEEN.
Can you feel the terror of seeing THAT version of you — all radiantly alive and energized and poised and graceful and confident and kind and loving and awesome — and knowing that you could have become that?
Let’s take the time to work through that now.
See that best version of you.
Then see how the tiny little decisions you’re making every single day are determining your destiny.
Then remember the scientific fact that the fastest way to have a quality is to ACT AS IF you have it right now. You want more courage? Act courageous. Want more self-discipline? Act disciplined. Want more kindness? Act more kindly.
Want to actualize your potential and become the person you are capable of being? ACT LIKE THAT ABSOLUTELY AWESOME VERSION OF YOU RIGHT THIS SECOND.
The Rat Racer is always chasing after a goal in the future and never happy in the moment.
The Hedonist is always in the moment but never moving forward with their life.
The Nihilist has given up on the present and future.
Then we have the Happy Person. This is the person that has a goal that inspires and is enjoying the moments of the journey. A happy person has surveyed the mountain options and has narrowed their selection down to the one peak. The journey begins, and we enjoy every step to the top.
I want to begin this podcast with the most basic of questions; “How Will You Grow?” I have personally been on a thirty year journey of learning and growing. Yes there have been seasons of great intensity and yet others were quite laid back. However, I have come to learn some commonalities about my journey that is the same as others. As you read various authors you will pick up on these common themes. So, my response is not uniquely mine alone as it is part of a collective body of knowledge that all learners arrive at. I want to share some of these thoughts with you.
Invest in Yourself First
The one thing that you need before passion about growing your business is to grow yourself and others on your team. What determines the growth of the people on your team? The growth of the leader! As long as people follow you they will only go as far as you go. If you are not growing, they are not growing! At this point some of your best will leave and go to another place where growth is celebrated and honored.
If you want to lead, you must learn. If you want to continue to lead, you must continue to learn. Investing in yourself may appear to be selfish to some, but that is perhaps their lack of understanding of how growth works. If you are not in shape to lead, where does that leave others in need of a leader? President Truman stated that you cannot lead others until you lead yourself.
Become A Life Learner
I made a commitment in my sophomore year of my under-graduate program to become a “life learner.” I have faced numerous temptations to slack off when I have obtained various goals. I am reminded of Rick Warren in his Purpose Driven Life material, “The moment that you stop learning is the moment that you stop leading.”
For those in the golfing arena will recognize the name Harvey Penick and his book Harvey Penick’s Little Red Book: Lessons and Teachings from a Lifetime of Golf. You may not be aware of the fact that Harvey Penick was self-taught. Harvey Penick influenced many Golf’s greatest players.
John Maxwell’s book Winning With People discusses the principle of “Every Person Can Teach Us Something”. He suggests that maintaining an attitude of teach-ability is essential to becoming a life learner. The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance or lack of intelligence. Rather, it is the illusion of knowledge.One of the greatest dangers in life is believing that you have arrived. In that moment your learning journey just ended.
Learn to develop a solid routine for your life. For me, I begin early in the morning with devotional reading, prayer, reflective thinking, writing/journaling, and anticipating who I can positively influence each day. This habit over time has proven to be a great success in my learning journey. This single practice has exponentially expanded my ability to lead others.
Create A Growth Environment For People You Lead
The truth of the matter is that most work environments are not conducive to growth. The fact of the matter far too many college graduates conclude they have arrived at graduation and they now know enough. These are the people that attempt to hold others, keeping everyone in our circle average. Ask yourself one question; Did you wake up this morning and look at yourself in the mirror and declare, “I want to be average today!”
What does a growth environment look like? Consider the following thoughts:
•Placing others ahead of yourself
•Forward focused
•Affirming atmosphere
•Failure is not your enemy
•Other people are growing
•People desire change
•Growth is modeled and expected
Walt Disney stated once, “I am a part of all that I have met.” There is a Kentucky Derby story that is told about a man who brought his donkey to enter the Derby. He was quickly rejected and was told that your donkey has no chance to compete with thoroughbreds. The gentleman replied that he realized that fact, but thought the environment would rub off on his donkey and improve him.
Being around people who are better than we are has a tendency to make us stretch and improve ourselves. This is not always comfortable, but it always profitable.
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In my previous blog post I wrote about what a World Class Training Camp might like for you. Here’s one way Josh Waitzkin tells us we can go about doing that.
Think about you at your absolute best. And make that your new baseline.
In The Art of Learning, Josh tells us about his quest to be the best Tai Chi Push Hands martial artist in the world. His training videos are inspiring to say the least. He’d film his sparring sessions, reviewing moments when he performed a new move that was better than something he had done before. He’d study it in the finest detail until he figured out how to make that prior best his new baseline — discovering little things like the fact that his opponent was vulnerable at the moment he was blinking.
Think about the most recent film of your life – TODAY! Stop for a moment and journal your thoughts about…
What comes to mind when you think about your daily activity? Journal your thoughts and start here as the new normal of your life. Now you know what to improve!
This book is filled with awesome quotes. Here is a sample of gems:
There is a lot more to leadership than great individual work.
You can lead with or without a title. If you wait until you get a title, you could wait forever.
If you don’t demonstrate leadership character, your skills and your results will be discounted, if not dismissed.
The servant leader constantly works to help others win.
Leadership character, like other character traits, once established, is hard to hide.
This is only a sampling of awesome content. The heart of the book is about leadership character. there are three insights into this fact.
Without leadership character, no one cares about your skills.
There are five core traits that describe leadership character.
H unger for Wisdom
E xpect the Best
A ccept Responsibility
R espond with Courage
T hink Others First
Leadership character can be formed and transformed.
About the Author
Mark Miller began writing about a decade ago when he teamed up with Ken Blanchard on The Secret: What Great Leaders Know and Do. Since then, his books have sold almost 600,000 copies worldwide. Miller encourages leaders through his posts on GreatLeadersServe.org. It’s rated as one of the top leadership blogs in the world and has garnered almost 2 million page views since its inception less than two years ago. Miller also sells chicken. He started his Chick-fil-A career working as an hourly team member back in 1977. He joined the corporate staff in 1978, working in the warehouse and mailroom. Today he serves as the vice president for organizational effectiveness.
Miller also sells chicken. He started his Chick-fil-A career working as an hourly team member back in 1977. He joined the corporate staff in 1978, working in the warehouse and mailroom. Today he serves as the vice president for organizational effectiveness.
Leaders Made Hereby Mark Miller (Oakland: Berrett-Koehler Publishers Inc, 2017)
As the Executive Trainer for Chick-fil-A, Mark Miller tells us about some amazing leadership principles set within a story about a new CEO named Blake and Charles, an old trusted friend who attempt to create a strong leadership bench. You are grabbed at the outset by statements that all leaders S.E.R.V.E.;
See The Future
Engage and Develop Others
Reinvent Continuously
Value Results and Relationships
Embody the Values
The essence of the book is about establishing a Leadership Culture. In order for this to occur there must be an agreement on certain key ideas:
There must be an agreement on what leadership means
Offer varied instructional methods of equipping others
Realize the power of opportunity – allow people to lead early and often
Establish metrics that matters
Leaders must walk the talk
What is at stake if you chose to not follow through on the basics just mentioned? Consider that a majority of organizational leaders cannot articulate and agreed upon definition of what leadership is. Only a very small percentage of current leaders have attended a training program in the last 24 months. One-third of emerging leaders have confidence their organization is on track to make a difference in leadership development. Fewer leaders are even involved in an ongoing coaching relationship to improve themselves. Fewer leaders that are transitioning have confidence in their successors.
If there is to be a strong bench of quality leaders, a quality culture must be created and implemented.
1. God Factor – Your dream needs to be bigger than you – Are you praying for winners? My potential should be the floor of my dream and the rest of the room should be filled with the God factor. This is a journey of significance in which other people will be used.
2. We are better the third time – Consistency compounds your return. You learn from each experience. You learn from movement – if you are not moving you are not learning or even in the game. Keep trying! Do you improve with evaluated experience?
3. Leadership Matters – Who you give stewardship of your dream to someone else matters.
4. Don’t get distracted – Have an unwavering focus! Keep chasing your dream and do not let others hold you down.
2018 is waiting for the fullest expression of how God made you! Don’t keep us waiting to see the results!
Here are seven ingredients for making 2018 a huge success!
1. Peace of Mind. This is the first and ultimate ingredient. Peace of mind. It comes from living in integrity with our highest values, choosing our path, and confidently walking it. This needs to be our highest priority.
2. Health and Energy. We’re going to have a hard time maximizing our achievement if we have a hard time getting out of bed. Optimizing our health and energy is key.
3. Loving Relationships. A key attribute of an optimally functioning human is our ability to create and maintain great relationships. A key indicator of how we’re doing on that front? Laughter!
4. Financial Freedom. We don’t need to be set forever to be financially free, but we do need to get to a place where we have enough money so that we’re not constantly worried about it. Therefore, prioritizing this is wise.
5. Worthy Goals and Ideals. We’re not going to be happy without a clear sense of direction. “You need a commitment to something bigger and more important than yourself. You need to feel that your life stands for something, that you are somehow making a valuable contribution to your world.”
6. Self-Knowledge and Self-Awareness. Who are you? What’re your strengths, your weaknesses? What triggers you? What do you do when you’re on? When you’re off? Know thyself in order to grow thyself!
7. Personal Fulfillment. Our seventh ingredient is a sense that we’re actualizing our full potential—that we are becoming all that we are capable of becoming.
Marcus Aurelius was reflecting over 2,000 years ago and stated: “Because a thing is difficult for you, do not therefore suppose it beyond mortal power. On the contrary, if anything is possible and proper for a man to do, assume that it must fall within your own capacity.” The Apostle Paul would add to this discussion by stating, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Is there anyone, anywhere with my problem or limitation who has succeeded in spite of it? If the answer is YES, then your excuses are invalid! When one person overcomes their circumstances, others can overcome as well. Our problem at times is that our “EXCUSITIS GLAND gets inflamed and causes all sorts of problems for us. What? You have never heard about this gland? Let me look it up in my medical dictionary, yes, her it is…….. Excusitis is an inflammation of your excuse-making gland. WARNING: Fatal to success!
That should put a smile on your face! I did say that it was my medical dictionary! Remember, if it has been done, you can get it done! Stop making excuses as you prepare to enter 2018.
The circumstances amid which you live determine your reputationUnknown – The truth you believe determines your character…
Reputation is what you are supposed to be; Character is what you are…
Reputation is the photograph; character is the face…
Reputation comes over one from without; character grows up from within…
Reputation is what you have when you come into a new community; character is what you have when you go away…
Reputation is made in a moment; your character is built in a lifetime…
Your reputation is learned in an hour; your character does not come to light for a year…
Reputation grows like a mushroom; character lasts like eternity…
Reputation makes you rich or makes you poor; character makes you happy or makes you miserable…
Reputation is what men say about you on your tombstone; character is what angels say about you before the throne of God.
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