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Significance Begins HERE

The most important personal growth phrase you will ever hear a good leader say to you is “FOLLOW ME!”

So what is a good model when choosing a good mentor to follow? Here are a few thoughts on choosing worthiness in a mentor. 

1.A Good Mentor Is A Worthy Example – Many professionals attempt to persuade us to believe that it is possible to divorce your private life from your public life.

1. Author Gordon Hinckley writes that it is not wise or even possible, to divorce private behavior from public leadership – though there are those who have gone to great lengths to suggest that this is the only possible view of “enlightened” individuals….They are wrong and they are deceived. By its very nature, true leadership carries with it the burden of being an example. Is it asking too much that our elected officers stand tall and be a model before the people that elected them? If values are not established at the top, behavior down ranks will be seriously jeopardized and undermined. Values that are being neglected will vanish in due time.
2. A Good Mentor Is Available – Andrew Carnegie once stated that as he grew older he paid less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do. As you consider a mentor – look for individuals that are 2-3 levels ahead of you and not 10 levels. This enables you to spend your time with people who are truly available to you and can help. To illustrate this point – what if you are deciding to run for political office for the very first time. The President would not be a good place to seek out mentorship – stay connected to the grass roots with the resources that are within your grasp. The key thought is that at every level of growing find a mentor.
3. 3.A Good Mentor Has Proven Experience – An old Chinese proverb states ”To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.” The further you go in personal development the more new ground you will break. Grow from others experience. This is true in my life’s journey – at every new level I have sought out those ahead of me in order to gain insight and rapid growth. Rudy Giuliani stated that all leaders are influenced by those we admire. Reading about and studying their traits inevitably allows an inspiring leader to develop their own traits.4.A Good Mentor Possesses Wisdom – An manufacturing expert was called one day to assess why all systems had stopped and were not functioning. The expert arrived with nothing more than a small black bag. As the expert assessed the situation he pulled our a small hammer and tapped precisely at the correct place and all systems began to work again. The expert left a $1000 dollar bill behind. Management was furious because it was not itemized. The response came back: Tapping with a hammer $1; Knowing where to tap $999. THAT IS WISDOM in action! Wise people often use few words to help us see what we are overlooking and help us navigate difficult matters in life.5.A Good Mentor Provides Friendship and Support – “Great things happen whenever we stop seeing ourselves as God’s gift to others and begin seeing others as God’s gift to us” – James Vuocolo. At Peter Drucker’s passing Jim Collins wrote – Drucker’s most important lessons cannot be found in any text or lecture………but in the example of his life. I made a personal pilgrimage to Claremont, California in 1994 seeking wisdom from the greatest management thinker of our age. I came away feeling that I had met a compassionate and generous human being who almost as a side benefit was a prolific genius. We have not lost a guru on a pedestal but a beloved professor who welcomed students into his modest home for warm conversation. Peter Drucker was not driven by the desire to say something but the desire to learn something from every student he met.

   6.A Good Mentor Is A Coach Who Makes A Difference in People’s Lives – The term coach originates in the 15th century in the town of Kocs. It was a vehicle that carried royalty and eventually other important items such as mail, jewelry, etc. The idea was that a coach carried something or someone from where they are to where they desire to go. Think about how this concept has permeated our world. Kevin Hall’s book Aspire gives us insight to the usage of transporting people from one place to a preferred place.

   Self evaluation is helpful, but evaluation from someone else is essential – Andy Stanley

   1. C- is for caring for people we coach
   2. O- is for observing attitudes, behaviors, and performance
   3. A- align people for peak performance using their strengths
   4. C- Communicate and give feedback
   5. H- help people improve their lives and performance

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Significance Begins HERE

Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not – George Bernard Shaw

How do we cultivate curiosity? – Here are ten suggestions

1.Believe that you can be curious – The number one enemy of curiosity is “LIMITED BELIEFS.” “I can’t, I’m not good enough, They are better, I am not smart enough, I am not a natural,,,,, The single biggest difference between people who believe they can’t versus curious growing people is the belief that they can learn, grow and change. Give your permission to be curious!

2.Have a beginner’s mind-set – Peter Drucker once declared that his single greatest asset in being a business coach was to be ignorant and ask questions

3.Make WHY your favorite word – Here is another gem from Einstein, “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality.” Author Brian Tracy states that a major stimulant to creative thinking is focused questions. There is something about a well-worded question that often penetrates to the heart of the matter and triggers new ideas and insights.

4.Spend time with other curious people – Curiosity is not about formal education – it can be – but is not necessary. Find someone with an attitude of openness and inquiry and start hanging our with them Author Jerry Hirshberg in his book The Creative Priority: Putting Innovation to Work in Your Business states:

“No one in a corporation sets out to stifle creative thought. Yet, a traditional bureaucratic structure, with its need for predictability, linear logic, conformance to accepted norms, and the dictates of the most recent “long-range” vision statement, is a nearly perfect idea killing machine. People in groups regress toward the security of the familiar and the well regulated. Even creative people do it. It avoids ambiguity, the fear of unpredictability, the threat of the unfamiliar, and the messiness of intuition and human emotion.

5.Learn something new every day – One of he best ways to remain curious is to learn something new everyday. Start your day off with a curiosity that “I will learn something new today!” Successful people seize the day to grow and learn instead of just accepting the day and how things turn out. It does no good to simply learn something new without quality time to think and apply.

6.Partake in the fruit of failure – Do not view failure with the attitude that says, “I will never do that again!” See failure as progress – you cannot grow if you do not fail. Fail fast, Learn fast, Get up and try faster – this attitude leads to growth and success.

7.Stop looking for the right answer – If there is a “RIGHT ANSWER” to every question in your life you might be stagnated your growth and success. Ask WHY? No idea is perfect! All perfect ideas can be improved upon. Have you ever heard this statement: “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it!” This is a phrase used by people who stopped growing. Replace that phrase with these questions: If it ain’t broke, how can we make it better? If it ain’t broke when is it likely to break in the future? If is ain’t broke how long will it serve as the world changes? Author Roger van Oech in his book, A Whack On The Side of The Head writes, Almost every advance in art, cooking medicine, agriculture, engineering, politics, education and design has occurred when someone challenged the rules and tried another approach.

8.Get over yourself – If you are going to ask questions and allow yourself to fail, then accept the fact you will look foolish at times. My response – GET OVER YOURSELF! If self image is your motivator we probably would still be in caves! Keep a child-like curiosity fresh in your daily routine.

9.Get out of the box – Thomas Edison stated “There are no rules around here – we are trying to accomplish something.” Ralph Waldo Emerson states that all of life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. Good ideas exist everywhere but you will never see them if you do not get outside the box of your life. Getting outside the box requires an abundance mind-set. Unfortunately, inside the box thinkers have a poverty or scarcity mind-set. Average people ask “Can I do this?” This question is based upon the circumstances they see. Abundant thinkers ask different questions – How can I…? This simple change forces you to think differently.

10.Enjoy your life – Tom Peters in his book, In Search of Excellence writes, “The race will go to the curious, the slightly mad, and those with an hot passion for learning and daredevilatry. Simply stated get outside the box, learn fast, fail faster, and get up and try harder.

LINKS

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Significance Begins HERE

People will cling to an unsatisfactory way of life rather than change in order to get something better for fear of getting something worse – Eric Hoffer

Trade offs are available to us throughout our life – Everybody make trades throughout their life whether they know it or not. The real question is whether you are going to make good ones or bad ones.  

We need to learn to see trade-offs as opportunities for growth – Nothing creates a greater gap between successful people and unsuccessful people than the choices we make. While we do not always get what we want, we always get what we choose.

What are the pluses and minuses of this trade off? – Anytime you react to one of life’s crossroads according to fear rather than looking at he merits, you close yourself off from a potential opportunity.

Will I go through this change or grow through this change? – Denis Waitley, author states that a sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsibility for your life and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make.

Trade-offs force us to make difficult personal changes – The difference between where we are and where we want to be is created by the changes we are willing to make in our lives. Changes to our lives always begin with changes we are willing to make personally. Victor Frankl states that when we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

What are some trade-offs that are worth making? What kind of trade-offs have you been making in your life? Have you taken the time to even think about this reality? Consider these five trade-offs.

I am willing to give up financial security today for potential tomorrow. Physician George Crane writes “There is no future in any job. The future lies in the man who holds the job.” When is the last time you bet on yourself? Kevin Turner wrote the only job security we have is our individual commitment to personal development.

I am willing to give up immediate gratification for personal growth. Darren Hardy writes in his book The Compound Effect “We understand that scarfing Pop-Tarts will not slenderize our waist lines. We realize that logging three hours of NCIS leaves us with three fewer hours to read a book or listen to a teaching audio. We “get” that merely purchasing great running shoes does not make us marathon ready. We are a rational species – at least that is what we call ourselves. So why are we so irrationally enslaved by so many bad habits? It is because of our need for immediate gratification can turn us into the most reactive, non-thinking animals around.” When it comes to growth and success, immediate gratification is always the enemy of growth.

I am willing to give up the fast life for the good life. Albert Schweitzer stated that the great secret to success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up.” Authors Leider and Shapiro in their book Repacking your Bags, write that the good life is living in a place you belong, with people you love, doing the right work, on purpose.

I am willing to give up security for significance. The great men and women of history were not great because of what they earned and owned, but rather what they gave their lives to accomplish. Most people are capable of making a living. The significant thing is making a difference!

I am willing to give addition for multiplication. The challenge of leadership is not what can other people do for me? Rather, What can I do for and with other people.

LINKS

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Significance Begins HERE

Only a mediocre person is always at their best!

What happens when you stretch yourself in leadership? Remember that leadership is influence and not title. What are some possible outcomes of stretching yourself to accomplish, become, and develop yourself in new ways?

Consider the usage of a rubber band.   In all of the ways that a rubber band can be used there is one thing that is common in all of those usages. Can you think what that might be? YES – a rubber band is useless until it is stretched. Without stretching the rubber band as an invention is utterly useless.

With these thoughts as a backdrop consider the following thoughts…..

1. Few people want to be stretched – most people use only a fraction of their ability and rarely strive to reach their full potential. Consider this truth – 1/3rd of high school graduates never read another book the rest of their lives and 42% of college graduates never read another book after they graduate. Publisher David Godine claims that only 32% of the US population have ever been in a book store. People are settling for average daily

Consider the thoughts of writer Edmund Gaudet:

• Average is what failures claim claim to be when asked why they are not successful
• Average is the top of the bottom, the best of the worst, the bottom of the top, the worst of the best
• Average is the ”run-of-the-mill”
• Average is the lazy person’s cop-out – it is refusing to take a stand in life. If you do not stand for something you will fall for anything
• Average is taking up space for no purpose
• Average is to pass away one’s life with time instead of passing time with life
• Average is to be forgotten when we pass from this life
• Average is to commit the greatest crime against yourself and your God

FEEL THE TENSION OF THE GAP that stands between you and your fullest potential!

2.Settling for the status quo ultimately leads to dissatisfaction – I believe that our natural tendency is to settle into our comfort zone where we choose comfort over potential. Abraham Maslow once states that “If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all of the days of your life.” You must leave the familiar, safe and secure. You have to give up excuses and push forward. You must be willing to face the tension that comes with stretching toward your potential. Writer John Wittier states that for all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these; ‘It might have been.’

3.Stretching always starts from the inside out – James Allen’s book “As A Man Thinketh,” wrote in 1903 is one of the more profound books that you can read today. In it he states that you cannot travel within and stand still without.

• Author’s Buckingham and Clifton state that most people do no like their jobs, yet will never leave to pursue a job of their dreams. What is stopping people?
• There are all sorts of dreams that people are not pursuing – WHY?
• Let us keep the context of life into focus here – my situation in life is mainly due to the choices I make and the actions that I do or fail to do.
• The older we are the more responsible for our situation.
• If we are merely average of if you are no closer to your dream’s fulfillment this year than last year, you can choose to accept it, defend it, cover it up, and explain it away. Or you can choose to change it, grow from it, and forge a new path.
• Thought Leader Jim Rohm states that every life form seems to strive to its maximum except human beings. How tall will a tree grow? As tall as it possibly can. Human beings however have been the dignity of choice!
• Measure what you are presently doing against what you’re capable of doing
• You can choose to be all that you can be or you can choose less. What motivates you from within. Where do you find the strength to stretch?
• 4.Stretching always requires change – A.G. Buckham states that monotony is the awful reward of the careful. At some point you have to stop looking over your shoulder at your past. Yesterday ended last night!
  • Alan Cohen author and contributor to the Chicken Soup for The Soul series wrote, “To grow, you must be willing to let your present and future be totally unlike your past. Your history is not your destiny!”

  It is not too late to be what you might have been! – George Elliot

  LINKS

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  FREE GIFT – “The Art of Balancing Candor With Care” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

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  Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!

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Significance Begins HERE

Character Growth Determines the Height of Your Personal Growth!

Achievement to most people is something that you do…to the high achiever, it is something you are – Doug Firebaugh

Professors James Kouzes and Barry Posner have administered their “Characteristics of Admired Leaders” survey to over 75,000 people on six continents. The results all point back to one common trait without hesitation is HONESTY! Causes and Posner write that in almost every survey conducted, honesty has been selected more often than any other leadership characteristic.

Bill Thrall suggests that people often focus on their professional capacity without developing character, and it will almost always cost them in the end. It costs them in their personal relationships and often in their career. He suggests that it is like climbing an extension ladder that is not secure. The higher you climb the more it wobbles and it eventually falls.

Let us use the picture of climbing a ladder and that the various rungs represent character qualities.

I will focus on being better on the inside than on the outside – Character Matters

• The inside influences the outside. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, if you focus more on the outside than the inside, you will get into trouble. What we fail to do in privacy impacts who we are.
• Our inside development is totally within our control. When we fail to make the correct character choices – we are giving away ownership of ourselves.I will follow the Golden Rule – People Matter
  • Here is a simple rule of thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them – The Message

  I will teach only what I believe – passion matters

  • Borrowed beliefs have no passion, therefore no power!

  I will value humility above all virtues – perspective matters

  • Playwright and author J.M. Barrie observed that the life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he hoped to make it.
  • Andy Stanley observed that while nobody plans to mess up their life, the problem that few of plan not to. That is we do not put the necessary safe guards to ensure a happy ending.I will strive to finish well – faithfulness matters!
    • If you take control of your behavior, emotions will fall into place. Radio preacher Tony Evans said once that if you want a better nation that is filled with better counties, better churches, better neighborhoods, and better families, then you will have to start with yourself.

    Pulitzer Prize winner Alexander Solzhenitsyn went into prison for criticizing Joseph Stalin and came out a believer. He declared about this experience “I bless you prison – I bless you for being in my life – for lying their on rotting prison straw, I learned the object of life is not prospering, but the maturing of the soul.

    Senator Dan Coats once stated that habit is the daily battleground of character.

LINKS

Shepherds Advantage Leadership Podcast is now on iTunes – SUBSCRIBE

FREE GIFT – “The Art of Balancing Candor With Care” – Click on the icon at the bottom of the page

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Music: “Gratitude Mood” by David Arivett. You can learn more about his music by clicking on his name. THANKS DAVID!