Michael Jackson’s pop song “Man in the Mirror” suggests that for change to take place it must start with you: “I’m starting with the man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change.”

Man looking at reflection in window

In their book, “A Leader’s Legacy,” Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner write that the “legacy you leave is the life you lead each and every day.” Instead of waiting for a chance to do something big at the end of our lives, we have to remember that each day we have numerous opportunities to make a difference—by coaching others, listening to them, thanking them, assisting them, being positive with them… and the list goes on. The authors write, “whatever your role in life may be, you can make a difference. There is a 100 percent chance that you can be a role model for leadership, and a 100 percent chance you can influence someone else’s performance, and a 100 percent chance that you will make a difference in other people’s lives.”

With that said listen to the words of Bill Russell; The most important measure of how good a game I played was how much better I made my teammates play. So here is the million-dollar question; how are you helping others to win at the game of life? Stop approaching life like some competitive agenda in which you have to beat everyone else in order to win. Establish a game plan for life in how you can assist others – intentionality is the key to add significance. Once you choose to help someone else, you will have a friend for life.

Over three decades ago a research team studied 286 Harvard sophomores who were considered to be the brightest and best. They studied them for 40 years. They found the healthiest were the men who were emotionally healthy and recognized that that the good life was not the absence of problems, but how you choose to react to them. These men perceived themselves to be winners and helped others to win in spite of their circumstances.

I’m starting with the man in the mirror and I am asking him to change his ways. How about you?