The Resilient Leader

What are your coping mechanisms for seasons of high stress? What is your overall mental, emotional, and physical health strategy? If resilience is the ability to bounce back, to persevere, how do you do that? These are powerful questions for the modern-day faith leader to ponder. Allow me to add an additional layer of complexity to this blog article. Consider the following two quotes that may appear to be contradictory, yet both are true at the same time.

Leadership is not getting what you want – it is replicating who you are – John Maxwell

We are not the churches we lead or the sermons we preach. We are beloved children of God -Glenn Packiam

Let’s begin with Dr. Packiam’s statement. He is suggesting that our primary starting presupposition is that of recognizing and living in the reality of being a child of God. From this context we lead others based upon the daily realization of Heaven’s impact upon my living first. We do not force people into our plans and dreams, we lead people based upon our relationship and daily walk with Christ Jesus. From Dr. Packiam’s position, Dr. John Maxwell’s position is also true. Dr. Maxwell is leaving open the idea that no matter your starting presupposition you ultimately get who you are not what you desire.

What we know for a fact, the resent two years have been the most challenging years of faith leadership ever recorded in history. These challenges have flushed out the starting presuppositions of church leaders and congregations. What we have come to realize during our pandemic season is that Biblical discipleship is not near as strong and resilient as we might have supposed. This will be an upcoming blog article. However, what I can say is that resilient leadership is required NOW to discover a fresh articulation of Vision, Mission, and Measurement of what matters most beyond the pandemic.

Let’s consider some hard truths about Pastoral support systems that are now evident thanks to the Barna Research Group (The State of Your Church report). Consider the following:

83% of ministers can recall a specific time in which they knew they were called into vocational ministry.

38% of ministers have seriously considered leaving their vocational calling in the last 10 months.

38% of ministers talk with someone about their mental and emotional state of being.

24% of ministers meet with a Mentor

12% of ministers meet with a Counselor

Pastoral Ministry is relational work that often involves an “illusion of intimacy”. Think about it – Ministers are usually present in people’s deepest moments of joy and deepest moments of sorrow. We are not there as a Sunday afternoon buddy watching football together. There is an inconsistency of intimacy. This inconsistency can and will take its’ toll upon the heart and life of ministers. Ministers call upon deep and real emotions in the circumstance that requires it which in turn is exhausting and usually our tank is empty for any other relationship. 

Resilience is formed in the context of right relationships. Cultivating these relationships requires that we move beyond the illusion of intimacy and taking the time, according to Dr. Packiam to seek out a constellation of lives that can help us navigate the storms of ministerial life. He continues by stating that We need sages to advise us, leaders to direct us or hold us accountable, peers to remind us that we aren’t alone, healers to dress our wounds and companions who carry us when we can’t carry on.

So that we are not tempted to think that resilient leadership is easy or there are quick fixes allow me to close with the research of Professor Jeffery Hall at the University of Kansas. In a ground-breaking study Dr. Hall wrote in the The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships in 2018 the following: it takes “between 40 and 60 hours to form a casual friendship, 80–100 hours to transition to becoming a friend and more than 200 hours together to become good friends.” According to Hall’s study, the hours spent at work together don’t count as much. However, we need lasting and meaningful relationships if we are going to last in the ministry and remain fully human. Cultivating these relationships will take time! It is worth taking the time!