Significance Begins HERE

In our current times, we are surrounded by lightening fast technology, decision making, expectations, life… Practicing patience in an era where it seems no one has any patience may feel counter-intuitive but patience allows us to slow down, calm our minds, show compassion, love and be loved.

Being able to tolerate delays without feeling angry or frustrated is a necessary quality for our greater good. Easing our minds mentally also allows our bodies to physically function in a stress-reduced state, lowering our blood pressure, staving off illnesses and not compromising our immune systems.

So how does one practice patience when all things point in a different direction?

• Persistence – the ability to keep moving forward even if you cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Having faith that you are moving in the right direction without distraction brings a sense of inner peace.
• Acceptance – believe that everything happens for a reason and even if the reason is illogical, it will be revealed at a later time when and if it is necessary. Whatever is happening now is the way it is.
• Peace – having a sense of serenity and knowing that whatever distraction is happening, it will pass, as the now is what is meant to be.

Practicing patience alleviates the need for anger. When we are impatient, we go through a gamut of emotions from irritation to impatience to anger and then rage. Not only does patience help us achieve that which we desire, it helps us keep our anger in check.

The easiest way to practice patience is to count to 10 or take 10 deep breaths. This creates space between an impulse reaction and an actual action step. Practicing patience with others allows us to slow down and enjoy life with a new viewpoint.

Significance Begins HERE

What does your closet look like? Is it all tidy and color coordinated and arranged by season?

If so, move on… And for the rest of us who have closets full of clothes from ten years ago that we will fit into one of these days – or that style will surely come back – or this is a classic – it will go with everything… You know who you are… or maybe you can’t even close your closet because the shoes are spilling out onto the floor…

Life is like a closet. We hold onto past thoughts and emotions and we think if we hold on to it long enough and tight enough something will change – it will fit now – it will be all right – or we hold on because we can’t let go of the pain. As one of my mentors says – let the dead bury the dead.

It is time to clean the closet and let go of all that dead weight. It is time to organize and compartmentalize all those things in that closet – put the shoes here, the belts there, the ties or purses in their spot and let’s now get rid of our high school prom dress. It is time to make room for all the new things that we will acquire. Make room…

When you organize anything, a closet, a drawer, a thought, a process, you suddenly find you have room. Room for something new. If you hold onto all that old stuff, there is no room for anything new. No new relationships or job opportunities, or whatever it is you desire because you don’t have room. You don’t have the bandwidth to take on anymore until you clear out all the old.

We can’t change the past so why hold onto it? Get out the duster and boxes and let’s release all that which we no longer need or want and let’s make room for all that which we desire.

Organize your life as you would a closet. Remove the old and make room for the new.

Significance Begins Here

Have you ever wondered why you hold onto emotional and physical pain longer than needed? There is a belief that we create and maintain problems to give us a sense of identity – to define who we are – to give us purpose.

Do you know of anyone who creates problems and then swoops in to save the day? Or someone who creates problems to then play the role of victim for sympathy and attention?

These behaviors, whether in ourselves or around us are due to the need to replay our past mistakes like a broken record in our minds which in turn builds feelings of shame and regret. Carrying these burdens dictates the actions we take in the now. In addition, we hold onto worry and frustration about the future creating unnecessary stress. Stress has been linked to numerous health issues and the majority of us live with this fabricated stress every day treating is as our normal state.

We all know that if we put a little energy to something we get a little out… the same holds true for letting go. By letting go just a little of your past and future regrets, you obtain a little peace in your life but if you let go of a lot, then you will bring in a lot of peace. More peace equals less stress! Isn’t that the formula we all desire?

Here is a sampling of actions you can take today to begin to let go of the pain and allow peace into your mind and body:

1. Meditation
2. Physical Activity
3. Learn a new skill
4. List out your accomplishments and continue to add to the list daily
5. Focus your energy on that which you CAN control and not that which you CAN’T control
6. Engage in a creative project (painting, crafts, gardening, book club)
7. Write a letter to whomever you hold your anger for, then burn the letter
8. Take responsibility for you could have done better
9. Wear a rubber band on your wrist and pull it every time you begin to obsess on the angry thoughts
10. Have gratitude for the positive memories and know that life is a learning experience
11. Visualize how you were before the event and know that you now can be that again
12. Take deep breaths and focus on your breath when you feel angry

And lastly, fill a backpack with rocks representing your past hurts and take a hike. When you are ready, remove one rock at a time, naming the rock with a specific memory or person or event that has brought you pain and release it. You may find that you have packed more rocks than actual pains!

Letting go allows you to make space in your life for new and exciting adventures, experiences, loves, memories. Letting go brings you inner peace and reduces stress. Letting go allows you to view the world with new eyes ready to create, build and live that life you have always dreamt about.

Significance Begins HERE

Being thankful everyday for what you have is a mind altering experience. Try this quick and easy exercise every day. Wake up and immediately say what you are grateful for. It could be as simple as another day on earth. Your feet touching the ground. The ability to breath… or get more involved – and be grateful for a specific person, condition, thing, whatever it is in your life that you are grateful for.

There are half full and half empty people on this planet. The half full group has their glass filled with gratitude. Gratitude is one of those emotions that can increase wellbeing and happiness among those who deliberately create it. Gratitude can also increase energy, optimism and empathy; all characteristics of positive happy people.

Imagine being aware of all the good things that surround you. Imagine how much easier it would be to handle diversity and opposition when you have this upbeat attitude? Imagine having a purpose in life, an appreciation for those lives around you, and a willingness to take action to show your feeling of gratitude.

Those are the ingredients to a more fulfilled balanced life. Focus on the big and the small things to show your gratitude. You will find that as you express this new attitude, you will emit a positive energy or aura that will attract into your life exactly what you need to proceed and succeed.

Gratitude is a state of mind that we all have access to. It takes practice and with practice, it reaps great benefits.

Significance Begins HERE

Ask anyone you meet if they have ever been hurt by another. You will hear a resounding YES! Now ask how they handled the hurt and you will hear many different stories about resentment, revenge, internalizing, depression, anger, and sadness but few stories about forgiveness. Why? Why would anyone hold onto pain if they don’t have to? What is it in our nature to harbor ill feelings or hold onto past pain? Studies show that holding onto emotional pain transpires into physical illness. Dis-ease has been linked to our mental wellbeing. If we have the power to heal ourselves, where do we start?  

Some call it letting go; others call it forgiving. Not only forgiving others, but forgiving ourselves. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean denying the other person’s responsibility for hurting you. Forgiving someone isn’t excusing the act. Forgiveness is a practice for compassion, empathy, kindness and peace.

Holding pain inside is a breeding ground for negative feelings. Negative feelings in turn come out through anger, resentment, and the desire to seek vengeance. Negative feelings also keep us from enjoying the present; turning into depression and anxiety ultimately sabotaging those relationships we hold so dear.

Practicing forgiveness is a commitment to change. Moving away from a victim role and taking a more proactive and positive stance on your wellbeing will move you toward a more peaceful and enjoyable life.

Sometimes an act seems unforgivable. Place yourself in their shoes. Consider how you would have reacted or behaved if it were you. Accept that we are all human and have occasional imperfections. With any decision to make a change, journaling is an easy way to document and reflect on your feelings, which will help move you toward your goal.

Forgiveness is within you, there is no guarantee it will change the offender or future acts and therefore it is important for you to know that forgiving someone may not give you the immediate outcome you desire – this is an internal practice that will ultimately change your external world but is a personal practice and not a means to change someone else.

Significance Begins HERE

“Once you have tasted SIGNIFICANCE, success will never satisfy!” – John Maxwell

Fear is critical to our survival. It keeps us protected from legitimate threats and danger. If we only had life threatening fears, we’d be a very different society. Instead we have additional irrational fears based on traumas, bad experiences, or those all too often handed down fears from our ill-advised relatives.  

Looking at your fears, take a quick inventory in your head of what you are afraid of. Heights is usually at the top of the list and a legitimate fear although some go to extremes but there is a danger element in falling. What else makes your list? Wild animals? Spiders? Rejection? Pain? Flying? Swimming? Public Speaking? Relationships? People? The color blue?

Fears are thoughts that we create based on experiences either that we have had or others have had and have imprinted onto our minds. These fears are created, perpetuated and held in our minds. Sometimes even becoming too intense and then we develop anxieties and find our fears crippling our progress.

By giving in and accepting our fears, we cannot move forward. We cannot grow. We are stopped in our tracks. For example, fear of failure is common in varying degrees. It keeps people from progressing in their careers, relationships, commitments. People who exhibit this fear tend to stay in dead end jobs, stay in bad marriages, take the hand that’s dealt to them. Accepting life as is and not daring to risk failing so why bother, why try? How about fear of rejection? I’m not good enough anyway… I can’t do that job, I don’t have the credentials or experience and they won’t like me anyway…

So frustrating, right? We all know someone like this. Maybe it’s us? Maybe we need a little push, a little self confidence, a realization that the fear we carry with us is made up, make believe, we can change our thinking and let go of whatever trauma we hold on to that makes the fear so real – so tangible – so part of our lives that we accepted long ago that it just is.

Sometimes we need help from others to work through our fears. Sometimes we need a trusting mentor to show us the way, to gently guide us on our journey and break free of these fear chains we have grown to “love” so much.

Have you wanted to set a large goal for yourself but are afraid to even give it the time and energy to create the plan to achieve it? 

Every achievement starts as an idea. That idea then becomes a theory. That theory then becomes a fact thus yielding an achievement. This process is the result of the highest form of positive thinking.

There is a creative form of energy and it manifests itself as our imagination. When activated, it is able to build clear and vivid images. When we dream, our minds are filled with illogical thoughts like levitating or being outside in a bathing suit while it is snowing and not feeling cold. When building an idea, we need to not concern ourselves with the “How”. First we must build the image and then the “How” will reveal itself to us. We want to keep our mind free of clutter so we can build this picture in color – be able to use our senses to bring it to reality.

Now that we have the image, we have to commit to being able and willing to create this. This is where we step out of our comfort zone and move beyond the limits of our belief system. This is where doubts try to infiltrate our minds creating fear and then ultimately we give up on our dreams. Questioning how is pointless as you couldn’t possibly know how since you have never done this before so let the need to know go and continue to focus on the image.

Once the commitment is set and you are willing and able to move forward, the idea moves into the next phase of the process and turns into a goal. From here the image is moved to the subconscious mind as emotions form and attach to the idea turning it into physical form.

The idea and you begin to merge and your vibrations change, causing behaviors to change. These changes start an attraction force that builds your awareness of the opportunities that always were there but are now visible and in line with your goal. Through faith and a belief in this idea, you have moved what was once a dream into a reality.

Attitude is the one thing all human beings have complete control of and yet many unknowingly choose a negative attitude. If we understood the power of our own attitude in our lives, most of us would change it immediately. How many times have you been told to change your attitude? That is a common order from most parents and teachers!

Attitude is created by your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your mind controls feelings and decides whether these feelings will be positive or negative through your thoughts. Your body then follows these thoughts through actions and behaviors. It sounds simplistic because it is.

Through our thoughts, we create an attitude. This attitude is expressed based on how we internalize ideas. Our mind and body move into a new vibration of conscious awareness known as feelings. These feelings are then displayed through actions and behaviors that produce the results in our lives.

Attitude [Thoughts + Feelings + Actions] = Results

Imagine feeding our minds with positive thoughts and flow through the process. We will end with positive results. Now imagine feeding our minds with negative thoughts and flow through the process. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

By changing our thoughts, we can change our attitude, which will ultimately change our results. Attitude is the creative cycle that allows us to feel a certain way and then take the necessary action to a specific result.

Start with the end in mind and make the decision that today is the day to change your attitude!

What is the Bout Effect? In simple terms the more you repeat a behavior, the less it impacts you because you have become accustomed to it. This concept is usually discussed in the exercise arena. It would seem that the more you do the same thing over time there is a diminishing return. However, if you change the routine from light to heavy there is a noticeable change of improvement as well as decreasing soreness.

Consider the following:

• When you have not done much strength training, doing 30 pushups will improve strength. However after a few months an extra 30 pushups will not make that much difference in strength.
• When you drink your first cup of coffee there is a noticeable caffeine spike, However, after months of drinking coffee little is noticed in terms of a caffeine spike.
• When you start eating smaller portions you will loose weight. After the first 10-15 pounds are lost your smaller portion becomes your normal portion and weight lose stalls.

Failure to understand the Bout Effect will lead us to declare:

• This always happens to me. I make a bit of progress and then I hit a brick wall and plateau.
• I am working out every week and nothing seems to be happening.
• I have tried everything. Exercise does not work for me

Actually it did work. The initial exercise accomplished what it was meant to accomplish – RESULTS. Now you have a new baseline by which to measure a higher level of success. If you desire to accomplish a higher level then you need to add something new to the mix. Consider these three insights  on improvement.

1. By doing light amounts of work consistently will reduce the pain of difficult sessions in life.
2. The amount of work that you need to do to reach your maximum potential and output is greater that what you are doing presently. There is always room for growth! New levels of achievement require new levels of effort.
3. Deliberate effort is critical for long-term success. Doing the same type of work over and over again is a strange form of laziness. New skills will take you to new places of achievement.

Marshall Goldsmith says in his best selling book, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, suggests that doing the same thing over and over again, even if it worked for a long time will eventually plateau. If nothing changes, nothing is going to change.

Write three goals that you can accomplish in the next two weeks. Once these are mastered, then add something to the mix that challenges you to the next level. Keep the BIG MO moving in your favor.