Intentional Living Begins Here

Behavior defined can be a physical thing one does such as a morning routine and it can be non-physical such as replaying negative thoughts all day long.   A few behaviors are instinctual and built in while the rest are learned through meeting needs. What this means is that our behaviors are motivated by our needs and therefore we can be manipulated as well as manipulate to have our needs met. 

So when we have negative behaviors and we want to change them, we find it isn’t always so easy because these learned behaviors that we exhibit are actually rather complex.

There are two types of motivation – the motivation to approach something and the motivation to avoid something. When we desire something, we are motivated to approach it therefore receiving positive reinforcement or feedback. When we avoid something, we are motivated to move away from it or we will receive negative reinforcement or feedback. This is pretty simple. We understand that when we eat something sweet, most of us have a pleasant experience and when we eat something sour, our faces pucker and we try to avoid that experience again.

But let’s look at those things we approach or avoid because the thing doesn’t create that behavior, we do. Some people desire the adrenaline rush of jumping out of an airplane. It is exhilarating – it is something they repeat again and again as it has a positive affect on them and they desire that and are motivated to seek that experience. Some people avoid even the thought of getting on an airplane due to their learned fears that it will absolutely crash and they will die no matter what statisticians say – forget purposefully jumping out of a perfectly good airplane! Did the airplane create these behaviors? No! We learned them. And each of us react differently to different things, experiences, tastes, smells, thoughts, etc. All because of our own personal thoughts and behaviors.

So how do you change your behaviors? Your thoughts? Let’s say you want to become a public speaker but you are petrified of speaking in front of people. How can you overcome this fear, build confidence, perform and knock it out of the park? You have to change your behavior so that you are motivated to approach public speaking effortlessly without turning into a sweaty mess.

Practice. Anything you try for the first time will be clumsy and awkward, maybe even difficult. By practicing your speech – over and over again until it is so engrained in you and flows off your tongue as if it is just another story you are telling a friend, you build your confidence to speak to several friends or a small group… until you are ready to speak to a large audience. Practice.

Shaping. Practice your speech and ask your audience (family members, friends, mentor, coach) for feedback. Try giving it several different ways. Break down the speech into bits and mix it up. All the while correcting your approach and delivery until you shape your presentation and performance.

Chaining. Very good and effective speeches, keynote talks, sales pitches… are complex. They are made up of many components within the speech to get you to the end result you desire – sell a product or service, teach a thought or program, build rapport with your audience, create new clients, whatever your end result is, your speech has to be built on a frame and chaining is how you piece it together so there is a natural flow, a rhythm that mesmerizes the audience. Think about a really good comedian who gets up on stage and tells little stories for the whole set and the last story wraps up and circles back to the first story – bringing the evening to a close so naturally and you give a standing ovation because you were mesmerized by how good he was – he practiced, shaped each story or joke, chained them all together and brought it to a close.

By using these techniques, you can change an old behavior that you don’t want for a new one that you do want. Whatever you want to change, practice your new desired behavior, shape the new behavior by approaching it in different ways and ask for feedback all the while tweaking it, chain all the components of the new skills you are now mastering together and now you have successfully changed your behavior.

Michael Jackson’s pop song “Man in the Mirror” suggests that for change to take place it must start with you: “I’m starting with the man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change.”

In their book, “A Leader’s Legacy,” Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner write that the “legacy you leave is the life you lead each and every day.” Instead of waiting for a chance to do something big at the end of our lives, we have to remember that each day we have numerous opportunities to make a difference—by coaching others, listening to them, thanking them, assisting them, being positive with them… and the list goes on. The authors write, “whatever your role in life may be, you can make a difference. There is a 100 percent chance that you can be a role model for leadership, and a 100 percent chance you can influence someone else’s performance, and a 100 percent chance that you will make a difference in other people’s lives.”

With that said listen to the words of Bill Russell; The most important measure of how good a game I played was how much better I made my teammates play. So here is the million-dollar question; how are you helping others to win at the game of life? Stop approaching life like some competitive agenda in which you have to beat everyone else in order to win. Establish a game plan for life in how you can assist others – intentionality is the key to add significance. Once you choose to help someone else, you will have a friend for life.

Over three decades ago a research team studied 286 Harvard sophomores who were considered to be the brightest and best. They studied them for 40 years. They found the healthiest were the men who were emotionally healthy and recognized that that the good life was not the absence of problems, but how you choose to react to them. These men perceived themselves to be winners and helped others to win in spite of their circumstances.

I’m starting with the man in the mirror and I am asking him to change his ways. How about you?

Have you ever listened to someone play a piano that is completely out of tune? Remember the sound? Awful! Good notes do not even sound good when the piano is out of tune.  There are two solutions for solving this problem: the first is obvious, tune the piano; the second is not so realistic, get rid of the pianist.

In 1953 Rene Coty, the former president of France, stated, “It’s a pity to shoot the pianist when the piano is out of tune.” This is a relevant quote for churches and their leaders who are struggling in difficult times. Most leaders value developing strategic plans. The central question; “Have strategies, plans, mission statements, and value statements become window dressing or plaques that we hang on the wall?” If these plans, statements, or strategies do not function in our day-to-day church world, why jeopardize our reputation in our communities?

My experience has been that without functional direction a church may be in trouble. If nothing else you may find yourself in survival mode. That mode leads to cost-cutting of programs and personnel. Here is a question to ponder; “Is it possible that good quality people that we are attempting to reach are not staying because the real problem is a lack of sufficient direction and strategy that affects the daily life of the church? Are we guilty of getting rid of the pianist before we tune the piano?

Tuning Tips For Leaders

• The majority of leaders meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which fail. Be certain you have clear functional goals. One of the primary manifestations of being out of tune is that people and departments are not on the same page. If the church’s plans are inadequate or incomplete, the whole church will be confused.
• There is a direct correlation between low morale and defective planning and goal-setting in a church. Constantly communicating your goals is essential! Having a plan is important – communicating that plan is IMPERATIVE!
• It is a fact that when people know the plan of action, enterprise energy increases, even if the outside world looks dismal. People like to know what to expect. Knowledge provides motivation, camaraderie, and encourages them to put their shoulder to the wheel.
• As Pastor, you are the Master Tuner. Some pastors do not know their church is out of tune. Whether it is a lack of understanding, or ego, or pride, these leaders believe that everyone is on the same page with them even when others believe otherwise. When pastors are not receptive to the voices of others, problems are compounded.
• If the church is playing the wrong music, getting rid of all of the piano players will not make lasting improvements. It is important for pastors to have more than one source of information – one source is too narrow. Albert Einstein stated; “The consciousness that created the problem cannot be the same consciousness that solves it!”

The educated ear that sings in perfect pitch – The pastor must be the motivator of the plans that God stirs. The pastor leads from the “middle C” on a piano, attempting to keep harmony with his leading. When the leader gets out of pitch or constantly changing the song altogether, confusion is sure to be the result!

“Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you may die” is a statement that we have heard many times. This gives expression to the reality there is nothing beyond what we have,  so we ought to enjoy it to the fullest. Moses would give a different expression; “We live at best to be seventy years old, maybe eighty, if we are strong… They go so quickly. And then we fly off.” (Psalm 90:10).

LIFE IS SHORT! We know that, don’t we? So many times we are searching for something that will outlive our brief appearance on this earthly stage. We might be so bold as to call it “leaving a legacy.” Benjamin Disraeli stated that the legacy of heroes is the memory of a great name and the inheritance of a great example. The problem here is that memory is not always accurate and greatness is left open for interpretation.

The real issue is that we attempt to turn this temporal life into something that is lasting or permanent or even immortal. People have donated millions to have their name chiseled into granite monuments for generations to see what they have accomplished. As is the case with so many things in this life -we will forget! When faith opens our eyes as believers we see that we are living as immortals – “if this same spirit that raised Christ Jesus from the dead dwell in you…” C. S. Lewis said it this way, “You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal and their lives is to ours as a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with , work with,marry snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.”

Our souls are what will live on forever. From God’s perspective, how futile all of our quests to achieve immortality through this temporary stuff must seem to Him. What story are you attempting to tell?

Bible: 2 Timothy 4:1-5 

I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with [a] great patience and instruction. 3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, 4 and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. 5 But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

DO NOT ENTER THE MINISTRY IF YOU CAN HELP IT!

You might be surprised to learn who said this quote. It somewhat resembles the voice of a burned-out minister that has just quite. Charles Spurgeon in his “Lectures To My Students,” quotes Joseph Alleine, a British Pastor. Spurgeon is hardly a man that would be considered as bitter and burned-out. Pastoring a church with 14,000+ members at his death, started The Pastor’s College, and a publishing company – most of which Spurgeon funded out of his own pocket. Why would such a statement be used to teach a room full of individuals that have acknowledged a call of God on their life to be influencers? I believe the answer is that we should not embark upon a life of ministry hurriedly and without consultation of others. We need to make sure of our calling!

The call of God includes a sense of destiny combined with an all-absorbing passion to use your life for Christ Jesus. When it is affirmed and acknowledged there is an undeniable assurance that you simply cannot do anything else with your life. With that said the Apostle Paul speaks to his young protégé and gives 5 specific commands that were written I the first century, but just as fresh today.

1. Preach the Word – Not just the latest focus poling data or survey group. Our message is the special revelation of God to humanity that we call the scriptures, the Bible!
2. Be ready in season and out of season – The exact meaning of this phrase is debated. However, we can state there is a sense of urgency and vigilance that is being suggested here. Ultimately the minister is to be ready no matter what.
3. Reprove – The meaning here is to persuade, convince, refute, or to prove a point. There is no sugar coating the message in this term. There are tines when you must speak precisely and clearly.
4. Rebuke – This involves calling attention to wrongdoing and assigning responsibility. Truth must be CLEAR!
5. Exhort – The image of this word is that of a coach coming along side to assist and impart knowledge and to offer a listening ear.

Greater Life Lessons

• Effective Spiritual Leaders must faithfully speak the truth claims of God’s Word.
• Effective Spiritual Leaders must confront wrongdoing and correct error.
• Effective Spiritual Leaders must lead efforts to impact communities with scriptural messages of hope and Shalom – make disciples!
• Effective Spiritual Leaders have servants hearts – helping others many times before yourself

Leave a comment or share this article with your friends. Your comments can teach me! I will do my best to respond to each comment.

The Apostle Paul coaching his young protege instructs him on restlessness and rebellion in leadership roles. Paul gives his instruction in 1 Timothy 6:7-10 with a clear reminder of priority; “For we brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either…” [NASB]. It is amazing how quickly we lose sight of key priorities in life. We become distracted.

Consider the definitions of contentment and complacency. Contentment is a feeling or showing satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation. Complacency is a self-satisfaction when accomplished by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies. Both of these definitions can lead to satisfaction. Both can lead to an enjoyment of status. However the key difference between these are what separates good leaders from great leaders. Contentment leads to thankfulness to God for everything. Complacency congratulates self for everything. Complacency rests on its accomplishments. Contentment pursues excellence and growth.

1 Timothy 6:7-10: 7 For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. 8 If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all [a]sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. 

As you ponder this ancient wisdom for modern times consider these life lessons on contentment and complacency.

Contentment

• Live in the reality of your current blessing instead of constantly striving for more in your life. You will never enjoy what you have if you are always looking for more.
• When you are content you are liberated to applaud other people’s success without the slightest bit of envy or jealousy. You become one of the loudest cheerleaders for other people.
• With contentment you are free to be absolutely grateful for your many blessings. Living in this manner will allow you to acknowledge future blessings as gifts as opposed to an “It’s about time” attitude.

Complacency

• Decide to make everything else in your life essential beyond the need for food clothing, and shelter. Don’t get me wrong, I am not implying that it is wrong to improve your lot in life. The problem is when your attitude and perspective changes as a result of acquiring more.
• When you decide to increase your income as your primary focus in life is when you start to become ineffective in your current career.
• Make the decision to  keep your money and possessions instead of releasing them. As soon as you clutch your possessions tighter, your possessions begin to clutch you tighter.

Which type of leader are you striving to become? How would you describe contentment in your life? Leave a comment below or share this article on FB or Twitter. Thanks!

 

The Apostle Paul closed 1 Timothy 3 with an ancient hymn of praise filled with the good news of Jesus Christ. He opens the next section, 1 Timothy 4:1-6 with a sober warning. There is an opposing force against the truth of the gospel that is just as real today as at the time Paul wrote his instructions to the young preacher Timothy.

Paul previously stated the church is to be “the pillar and support of the truth” (3:15). So it should not come as a surprise to learn there will be people who will betray and abandon by conscious choice, the church. You cannot accidentally become an “APOSTATE!” You get into this position willfully. Christ had already warned in Matthew 24 there would be people who would subvert by their will, the gospel of Christ. Subversive doctrines throughout history never come in the front door of churches and announce they are subversive. It is always subtle and by slight of hand. The perpetrators are those whose consciouses have been “seared” as though a hot branding iron has scorched their ability to think correctly.

These hucksters of a false distorted doctrine can play havoc upon the role of Pastor. Pastors generally have spiritual enthusiasm and desire their congregations to be spiritual healthy. However, apostate individuals that believe they are doing God’s will by methods of destruction will show up in our life. In writing his commentary on this passage of scripture author Charles Swindle suggests three observations for Pastors today. I would offer thereto you:

1. Because there is a constant threat of apostasy, it should be a reminder that we are living in scriptures last days. Do not be surprised this occurs, we have been warned scripturally.
2. Satan is the source of all lies and he is quite good at his craft. Credible sounding speakers with pedigree and credentials will have visions and dreams that may divert you and I from scriptures truth claims. Know the truth, study the truth, so that apostasy can be recognized for what it is – subversive!
3. A movement fueled by false teachers can be difficult to resist. Character assassination is not gospel preaching. Pointing out the claims of scriptures is gospel preaching. This will expose the spirit of apostasy.

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